Sunday, February 14, 2010

Sofa-Surfin' on a Sunny Day

Gorgeous day, actually...68 and sunny, not a cloud in the sky. And here I sit, still in my PJ 's at 4:30, not even pretending to watch the world go by. Could give a stuff* where the world goes at the moment, quite happy in my own little corner of it. My parents arrived yesterday. YAY!! They're camping in their trailer at an RV park around the corner, but are hanging out with us today, sofa-surfin' and watching the Daytona 500. I'm not a NASCAR fan, but they love it, and I'm up for any excuse to eat junk food, drink white wine spritzers (probably not the official drink of NASCAR), and stay in my PJ's. We're all parked in front of the tv, and the drivers are parked on the track. They've been sitting there for over an hour. No big messy wrecks yet today, but now we're at a complete standstill, listening to the talking-heads just go on about nothing. Woohoo!

*re: 'I don't give a stuff' (i.e. sh*t), am trying to figure out if this saying is Australian or British originally. Anyone?

Since my topic of the day is fairly undefined, I can proceed without rhyme or reason. I knew I could find a way to like Sunday, which for me is usually a good day up until the point I remember that tomorrow has to be Monday. The free-to-be blogging diversion could improve all that going forward, as long as it doesn't turn out to be one of those gloomy, gray, wrist-slitting kinda Sundays.

Weather Report

Speaking of gloomy, let's re-cap the weather up north this week. The capital has been completely shut down (not entirely a bad thing - see cartoon below), and it has been a virtual nightmare for people to even get out of their houses on the Eastern Seaboard. Hopefully I will remember this when it is 145 degrees in Florida in August and I'm sweating like a whore in church.




Sidenote - Will Hell Ever Really Freeze Over?
After I found the cartoon above, decided to see what was out there on the topic of Hell actually freezing over. Scary how my brain works, no? Anyway, here's what I found, and I think it's pretty damn funny.

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The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington engineering exam. The answer was so profound that the Professor shared it with colleagues, and it's been forwarded on.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (emits heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up then it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let us look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year that "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze."

The student received the only "A" given.

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hee.hee.hee.....hee.hee... once again, you witness me being easily amused, but you have to admit - that's funny.

Back to the weather at hand. The in-laws are in Baltimore, buried up to their asses in snow (something like 4 feet in the last week with all the snow drifts, and 80-some inches so far this winter). That said, I thought this relevant and very professional weather update on Friday was a must-share. Tell me that this freaking weather weenie isn't four sandwiches short of a picnic. Giving him the benefit of the doubt...maybe he got laid before heading to the studio Friday morning and is just a very happy camper. If not, and he's doesn't have his finger on the pulse that is Oxycontin, then we can assume he is, without a doubt, a whackjob.




On to the lighter, more cultured side of sidenotes...

Playing with Pictures: The Art of Victorian Photocollage


This is a really cool exhibition that opened last week at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in NYC, running from now until May 9th. I was all poised to somehow finagel Hubby into a trip up there to kill two birds with one stone and combine this great cultural experience with that of Ricky, LIVE AT MADISON SQUARE GARDEN. Had the airfares sussed out and everything. Can you imagine my utter dismay when I discovered that Ricky's show is May 13-14th, so there is no feasible way to combine the two in one weekend? Ricky will no doubt win. Beware, Mr. Childs, guests on the horizon. Workin' it, and it could happen.

Anyway, back to the exhibition. Most people don't know that (1) I have a big thing for old family photos, or (2) that I'm a wannabe scrapbooker. Have all the sh*t I could possibly need to make the scrappin' dream a reality, literally a roomful(l), but do not possess the dedication to make it happen. My point in sharing??..this is the kinda stuff I would do in lieu of scrapbooking, IF I had a single artistic bone in my body. Check out the website, or if you're lucky enough to be in NYC in the next few months, go see it in person. If you click on one of the images on the link below, you can just keep scrolling through all of them.

http://www.metmuseum.org/special/victorian_photocollage/images.asp


The artwork is a collection of collages, using photographs/portraits and painted or drawn backgrounds, created by aristocratic British women (not unlike myself. ha.ha) in the late 1800's. Sounds like a snooz-fest, but you have to see the images. The exhibit is composed of albums and framed pages, created to organize pictures of family and friends, not unlike scrapbook albums do today.

Sidenote of a sidenote - Scrapbooking is now a multi-billion dollar industry. Bonkers. And frightening, if you ask me. Think of all the money we're spending as a nation on that stuff, when the average American household has $30k in credit card debt. Ironic, no, that I don't know more than two people who EVER actually print out their photos, and yet someone is racking up a multi-billion dollar tab putting them into scrapbooks. hmmmmm???

Is it safe to say you've have enough of me for one day?
Monday's Mayhem, on deck. xo.

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