I heart George, even though he's gay. Sorry gals, I know you will argue this one, but it's true. I've visited this topic on several occasions so there's no need to beat a dead horse, but why, oh why, does the most beautiful man on the planet have to be gay? Heart him anyway, and this freaking fantastic ad for Nespresso coffee, another of my guilty pleasures. Whoever came up with Malkovich as St. Peter is a genius.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
Friday's Franchise - Salvador Felipe Jacinto Dali I Domenech
Poor Señor Dali is now turning over in his grave at the thought that some nitwit American has made him not only the subject of her ridiculous blog for a day, but far worse, Friday's Franchise. Even I didn't see this one coming, not in a million years. As I mentioned Wednesday, my friend Raphael arrived from Budapest for a tropical holiday in Florida. Didn't really work out that way, as it is freezing cold here, in the 30's when we wake up at the moment, and raining on and off. Anyway, He had an idea of the must-see/must-do stuff in his head. We checked the first item off the list today, The Salvador Dali Museum in St. Petersburg. (http://www.salvadordalimuseum.org/)
Fantastic!! I've been here almost two bloody years and haven't gone yet. If you are ANYWHERE in this general vicinity, you need to make a point of getting there. I decided ten minutes after our visit that I am going to go back solo in the next few weeks to just sit and ponder. If I can make a suggestion, without condoning or supporting the use of illegal substances that I would NEVER partake in, it would be even better if you have some wacky-tobaccy on hand. Just sayin'. It was such a WOW! for me. I am about as cultured in the art department as I am proficient in Swahili, but I was surprised by how much the exhibition (the largest ever collection of his work) sucked me in and held me captive. There are 96 oil paintings, and the collection spans from 1917, when he was a student, to his last/late works in 1970. Incredible.
My favorite, which you really won't be able to see because the photo is tiny, is called Three Young Surrealist Women Holding in Their Arms the Skins of an Orchestra (1936)
A close second...Velázquez Painting the Infanta Marguerita with the Lights and Shadows of His Own Glory (1958)
Famous, but not one of my favorites, Daddy Longlegs of the Evening--Hope! (1940)
The only disappointing aspect of the museum, and the reason it became Friday's Franchise, was the gift shop. Holy cannolis! Capitalism at it's grossest. Dripping clock Christmas ornaments, Dali perfume, the tapas collection (glasses/plates) - Bleh! I know, they have to sell this stuff to support the museum, but do they have to sell so much of it, and turn it into a made-in-china fest? Dali's beautiful paintings, splattered on coffee mugs, hats, notepads, etc... Why does famous art always have to become an industry??
All that said, I am going to make more of an effort to be a museum girl. Avoid them like the plague, probably because I'm an art doofus. Turns out, I really enjoyed myself.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Wednesday's Wacko is.....me. Kidding, but am feeling a bit...no, alot...out of whack at the moment. Never caught up from last week's undone list, skated through the weekend like I was Paris Hilton with six personal assistants, and now it's already hump day. Frick. Blog is way backed up...need a plunger, I mean a plumber. Have a guest arriving this evening, our friend Rafael from Budapest (no, he is not a mutant ninja turtle), so really need to step it up a notch and at least get the house picked up and run some errands today. Rafael was Riley's french tutor before we moved back, and I've told him that the only way he can cover his room/board is to speak nothing but French to the boys. Am curious to see how that works out, almost two years after they left the 'language of love' behind. C'est dommage!
Seriously, who/what could be my Wacko/Wacky for the day???
Perfect. Making headlines today, like any other day, is one of my favorite Wack-o-linas, the Gaga. She's gone and done it again with the over-the-topness...actually, it's without-the-topness. Love her, hate her, you still have to respect her ability to be everywhere. Here's the new cover of Q (Brit mag)...
Seriously, who/what could be my Wacko/Wacky for the day???
Perfect. Making headlines today, like any other day, is one of my favorite Wack-o-linas, the Gaga. She's gone and done it again with the over-the-topness...actually, it's without-the-topness. Love her, hate her, you still have to respect her ability to be everywhere. Here's the new cover of Q (Brit mag)...
Personally, I loves me some Lady Gaga. From the music to the unbelievable get-ups to the up-close and personal interviews, I totally dig her. And not just because she's all the rage, I just think she's really kewl. She is, for me, what's currently missing in an otherwise Madonnaless world. I know, Madge is still out there, pushing the envelope, but it's a much tamer version of pushing.
Lots of poo-pooers, saying that she's all shock-value and no talent, and that she's a man....yada, yada, yada... whatever. Love her. Love that she needs to change her outfit hourly, and believe me, if I had the fashion houses she has dressing me, I'd be doing the same thing.
Just realized that between this and my pole dancing post yesterday, I sound like I'm in need of an intervention :) No worries. I'm good.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
I am completely chasing my tail this week but am determined to catch up on the blogging front. Apologies to my fan. I'm attempting to splatter my daily dazzlers back in, as if I never missed a post. Just need to figure out (a) how to add more hours to the day, or (b) how to make myself invisible for an hour or so every day so I can be at one with my ranting, tangent-encumbered self. Furthermore, why won't someone pay me for my genius thought-provoking rants? Talk amongst yourselves.
Tuesday's Teaser - Naughty Girls Goin' for the Gold??
Did anyone know that there is an International Pole Dancing Fitness Association?? Me either. Did you know that pole-dancing has become the 00's answer to step-aerobics (not sure how you write it for this decade...ya know...like the 80's...)? Me either. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Ms. Fonda. I've obviously been living under a rock. All the women around me seem to be tuned in and hip to the scene, although not participating in this desperate housewives' dream within a dream. Bear with me here, as I am actually going somewhere with this, but not before I overshare.
Note: this is that grey area everyone tells you not to blog about, for fear that prospective employers (or those of your husband) will read it and circular-file your/his resume. Most of you know that I'm not a big fan of editing myself, ever, whether speaking or writing (just ask my poor mother, I mortify her daily), so I will press on...
Pole dancing. My friend and former butt-kicker (i.e.trainer) Michaela introduced me to this up-n-coming erotic cheesefest last summer, and I have to tell you that I thought seriously about giving it a whirl. I know...lol times a thousand...but it is by far not the most cockamamie thing I've pondered in my lifetime. Michaela came over for lunch one day and wanted to show me the Flirty Girl Fitness website http://www.flirtygirlfit.com/. We watched the demos with great admiration and awe. Didn't I think it would be fun to try, she wanted to know. Enter another big fat LOL. Just the idea of trying to pull off one of those moves, be it pole or chair dancing...What could that possibly look like??? I could only picture an animal, wounded, flailing...
Nevertheless, I was curious. The wheels were turning. I was trying to come up with my pseudo-stripper name, wondering what my good church-going neighbors would say when my 6-yr-old blurted something out about mommy's new hobby. I took the next logical step and consulted with Hubby. Shocker (not)...he was ready to have a pole installed in our bedroom the next day. I found a local pole-dancing fitness studio here in Tampa, bookmarked the website, and called to inquire about beginner classes. I hemmed and hawed about it (not painstakingly) for a few weeks, and sadly, in the end, decided that it's just one of those things I am going to have to leave unchecked on the bucket list.
Maybe I'll revisit this when I'm 50 (hee.hee), but for now am going to set my sights on the original P90 program (not P90X - way too hardcore), which is currently on my laptop, patiently waiting for 'the day'. For any of you who think you could 'bring it' to the pole (you know who you are), you should really check out the Flirty Girl website. It looks like a blast, and it's great for cardio and strength training. I have the athletic ability of a rhino, and the grace of an ostrich, so am thinking I made a sensible call here.
Okay...back to the Intl. Pole Dancing Association. You may have seen the articles Monday on MSNBC and/or ESPN (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35524563/ns/world_news-weird_news/), but just to re-cap, these dancers (athletes) want to take it to the next level and make pole dancing legit. They want to make it an Olympic sport. Again, I have to say, what would that look like? I realize that these 'fitness studios' are popping up all over the country, but when you make it an olympic event, it's going to lose some of it's seedy/sensual side, no? Am just trying to picture it...hot bettys, stilettos, sexy music, and million's of spectators all over the world watching and tuning in. Familys gathered in their living rooms to cheer on their favorite pole dancer. Can you imagine trying to sell this to the NBC execs from a ratings standpoint?
I wouldn't have picked up on it were it not a fairly mainstream story this week, which makes it that much funnier. My standard question applies: What in the Hell is going on? More power to these gals. I recognize fully that it's a very athletic activity. Would I call it a sport? Probably not. Would I call curling a sport? Sorry, not to offend, but it's more like shuffleboard or hopscotch, which in my opinion are not sports. Would I tune in to watch? You bet your sweet a** I would. Lots of sports haven't made it to Olympic fame, including squash and cricket. The Intl. Olympic Committee is working hard to eliminate anything deemed a demonstration sport. I'm thinking the dollar-in-the-g-string gig might qualify as such. Still, these 'hopefuls' are still actually picturing themselves as Olympic athletes. The power of positive thinking probably isn't enough in this case. In my estimation, I have about as much chance as they do to make it to London in 2012.
Back later today with Monday's Mayhem (which will actually be Thursday's Mayhem, which doesn't really flow) and Wednesday's Wacko (hint: I am simply gaga).
Tuesday's Teaser - Naughty Girls Goin' for the Gold??
Did anyone know that there is an International Pole Dancing Fitness Association?? Me either. Did you know that pole-dancing has become the 00's answer to step-aerobics (not sure how you write it for this decade...ya know...like the 80's...)? Me either. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Ms. Fonda. I've obviously been living under a rock. All the women around me seem to be tuned in and hip to the scene, although not participating in this desperate housewives' dream within a dream. Bear with me here, as I am actually going somewhere with this, but not before I overshare.
Note: this is that grey area everyone tells you not to blog about, for fear that prospective employers (or those of your husband) will read it and circular-file your/his resume. Most of you know that I'm not a big fan of editing myself, ever, whether speaking or writing (just ask my poor mother, I mortify her daily), so I will press on...
Pole dancing. My friend and former butt-kicker (i.e.trainer) Michaela introduced me to this up-n-coming erotic cheesefest last summer, and I have to tell you that I thought seriously about giving it a whirl. I know...lol times a thousand...but it is by far not the most cockamamie thing I've pondered in my lifetime. Michaela came over for lunch one day and wanted to show me the Flirty Girl Fitness website http://www.flirtygirlfit.com/. We watched the demos with great admiration and awe. Didn't I think it would be fun to try, she wanted to know. Enter another big fat LOL. Just the idea of trying to pull off one of those moves, be it pole or chair dancing...What could that possibly look like??? I could only picture an animal, wounded, flailing...
Nevertheless, I was curious. The wheels were turning. I was trying to come up with my pseudo-stripper name, wondering what my good church-going neighbors would say when my 6-yr-old blurted something out about mommy's new hobby. I took the next logical step and consulted with Hubby. Shocker (not)...he was ready to have a pole installed in our bedroom the next day. I found a local pole-dancing fitness studio here in Tampa, bookmarked the website, and called to inquire about beginner classes. I hemmed and hawed about it (not painstakingly) for a few weeks, and sadly, in the end, decided that it's just one of those things I am going to have to leave unchecked on the bucket list.
Maybe I'll revisit this when I'm 50 (hee.hee), but for now am going to set my sights on the original P90 program (not P90X - way too hardcore), which is currently on my laptop, patiently waiting for 'the day'. For any of you who think you could 'bring it' to the pole (you know who you are), you should really check out the Flirty Girl website. It looks like a blast, and it's great for cardio and strength training. I have the athletic ability of a rhino, and the grace of an ostrich, so am thinking I made a sensible call here.
Okay...back to the Intl. Pole Dancing Association. You may have seen the articles Monday on MSNBC and/or ESPN (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35524563/ns/world_news-weird_news/), but just to re-cap, these dancers (athletes) want to take it to the next level and make pole dancing legit. They want to make it an Olympic sport. Again, I have to say, what would that look like? I realize that these 'fitness studios' are popping up all over the country, but when you make it an olympic event, it's going to lose some of it's seedy/sensual side, no? Am just trying to picture it...hot bettys, stilettos, sexy music, and million's of spectators all over the world watching and tuning in. Familys gathered in their living rooms to cheer on their favorite pole dancer. Can you imagine trying to sell this to the NBC execs from a ratings standpoint?
I wouldn't have picked up on it were it not a fairly mainstream story this week, which makes it that much funnier. My standard question applies: What in the Hell is going on? More power to these gals. I recognize fully that it's a very athletic activity. Would I call it a sport? Probably not. Would I call curling a sport? Sorry, not to offend, but it's more like shuffleboard or hopscotch, which in my opinion are not sports. Would I tune in to watch? You bet your sweet a** I would. Lots of sports haven't made it to Olympic fame, including squash and cricket. The Intl. Olympic Committee is working hard to eliminate anything deemed a demonstration sport. I'm thinking the dollar-in-the-g-string gig might qualify as such. Still, these 'hopefuls' are still actually picturing themselves as Olympic athletes. The power of positive thinking probably isn't enough in this case. In my estimation, I have about as much chance as they do to make it to London in 2012.
Back later today with Monday's Mayhem (which will actually be Thursday's Mayhem, which doesn't really flow) and Wednesday's Wacko (hint: I am simply gaga).
Saturday, February 20, 2010
'Saturday, in the park, I think it was the Fourth of July'...no, it was the 20th of February...Backtracking a bit...I've been a bad, bad, blogger. Good thing I can fake-date my posts and nobody will be the wiser. Oh, except for anyone who just read that. Did I mention my degree in rocket science?
Where did I leave you? Saturday's Saucy Solution...
In retrospect, the perfect solution would have been "Kerry, don't get too saucy." Hindsight is indeed 20/20 and it was, instead, another slightly blurry weekend here at Chez McGann :) Shhhh. don't remind my mom, she's already over it. In my defense, two different girlfriends, two different birthdays, too much socializing...it's not like I was drinking alone, right? Speaking of bdays, happy belated to my little brother, the Hopster, who turned 37 on Saturday. Not sure how that happened since I'm working on 29 again, but glad he is healthy and happy getting older on his end.
On a more somber note, in response to Saturday's update from the black hole that is GM (GimmeMore), I've come up with a solution (bear with me...have added a bit of a saucy twist) for overpaid GM executives, current and former, to give back and... pay it forward, if you will. Let's line up the hundreds of millions of next-generation(s) children who will still be paying off the corporate-commingled-with-national debt in 1000 years. Then, let's hang those CEOs, CFOs, and other overpaid morons by their family jewels from a tree, until all the BIDILLION dollar bonuses they've gotten along the way fall out of their pockets and into the hands of someone, ANYONE, who is going to be saddled with that debt in the future. It could so work. Again, I'm happy to spearhead the committee, qualified or not, the latter being par for the course. I can't even fathom that after the events of the last 18 months, the Chairman/CEO of GM is still getting a $9 million compensation package.
C'mon guys, who in God's name commands that kind of salary/stock portfolio. Maybe God, but He really doesn't need a salary, and probably has less use for stock options. Even more unfathomable - the former pseudo-CEO of GM, after what we can only asusme were several incredibly taxing months on the job, will receive $59,090/month plus expenses for 20 hours of consulting work every month - HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Is anybody out there??? All this, approved by the Obama-appointed 'pay czar' Kenneth Feinberg. Can you imagine what would happen if 50% of every overpaid executive's salary was put in a national healthcare slushfund? Problem solved. I know, it's not that easy, but it would be a good start.
Where did I leave you? Saturday's Saucy Solution...
In retrospect, the perfect solution would have been "Kerry, don't get too saucy." Hindsight is indeed 20/20 and it was, instead, another slightly blurry weekend here at Chez McGann :) Shhhh. don't remind my mom, she's already over it. In my defense, two different girlfriends, two different birthdays, too much socializing...it's not like I was drinking alone, right? Speaking of bdays, happy belated to my little brother, the Hopster, who turned 37 on Saturday. Not sure how that happened since I'm working on 29 again, but glad he is healthy and happy getting older on his end.
On a more somber note, in response to Saturday's update from the black hole that is GM (GimmeMore), I've come up with a solution (bear with me...have added a bit of a saucy twist) for overpaid GM executives, current and former, to give back and... pay it forward, if you will. Let's line up the hundreds of millions of next-generation(s) children who will still be paying off the corporate-commingled-with-national debt in 1000 years. Then, let's hang those CEOs, CFOs, and other overpaid morons by their family jewels from a tree, until all the BIDILLION dollar bonuses they've gotten along the way fall out of their pockets and into the hands of someone, ANYONE, who is going to be saddled with that debt in the future. It could so work. Again, I'm happy to spearhead the committee, qualified or not, the latter being par for the course. I can't even fathom that after the events of the last 18 months, the Chairman/CEO of GM is still getting a $9 million compensation package.
C'mon guys, who in God's name commands that kind of salary/stock portfolio. Maybe God, but He really doesn't need a salary, and probably has less use for stock options. Even more unfathomable - the former pseudo-CEO of GM, after what we can only asusme were several incredibly taxing months on the job, will receive $59,090/month plus expenses for 20 hours of consulting work every month - HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Is anybody out there??? All this, approved by the Obama-appointed 'pay czar' Kenneth Feinberg. Can you imagine what would happen if 50% of every overpaid executive's salary was put in a national healthcare slushfund? Problem solved. I know, it's not that easy, but it would be a good start.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Friday's Franchise - Bit of Ricky, and a Coffee, To Go Please
First, song of the day, absolutely gorgeous, courtesy of Mr. Gervais (featured on his blog this week). Hem is an indie-rock band from NYC (http://www.hemmusic.com/)
So, tonight is the premiere of The Ricky Gervais Show on HBO. I NEVER, ever plan my evening around anything on the 'idiot box', however will most definitely be found, parked in front of it, with the boys, at 9:00pm. You can actually already watch the first episode online (http://www.hbo.com/). Funny stuff. Stick with it if it doesn't grab you at first. It will. The three amigos...
First, song of the day, absolutely gorgeous, courtesy of Mr. Gervais (featured on his blog this week). Hem is an indie-rock band from NYC (http://www.hemmusic.com/)
So, tonight is the premiere of The Ricky Gervais Show on HBO. I NEVER, ever plan my evening around anything on the 'idiot box', however will most definitely be found, parked in front of it, with the boys, at 9:00pm. You can actually already watch the first episode online (http://www.hbo.com/). Funny stuff. Stick with it if it doesn't grab you at first. It will. The three amigos...
Ricky and Steve just started work on a new show for BBC called Life's Too Short, starring Warwick Davis, who appeared on Extras. Very funny clip, with Warwick, Ricky and Steve. Just need to say...YAY!!! Another show from Ricky = laughing, followed by more laughing.
Crazy for Coffee
I am a coffee addict. My heart starts beating, my eyes only open, with the first sip of coffee in the morning. In light of National Coffee Day (kidding), Kerry's Franchise o' the Week is Nespresso coffee. I heart it very much. There are a bunch of these single-serve, push-the-button-and-go coffeemakers out there (Senseo, Home Cafe, Bunn My Cafe, Keurig, K-Cups, Nespresso, Tassimo...), but this one is by far the best. Hands down. If you are in the market, check out the blog archive on SingleServeCoffee.com, just to get a feel for the products and read reviews. (http://www.singleservecoffee.com/archives/cat_nespresso.php).
Or, just go straight to the source: http://www1.nespresso.com/precom/home_us_en.html.
We've had the machine for about four years, and it is one of the few things, after children and pets (maybe not the hamster), and of course photos, that I would grab in the event of a fire. The capsules are mail-order only in the US, but they have a flat shipping rate of $6-7, and they arrive at your doorstep, usually the next day. If you buy a machine, you have to spend the extra moolah (around $100) and buy the Aeroccino, an amazing little frother-diddy. Click below to see The Making of a Caffè Latte - also found in the action/adventure section at Blockbuster. I would be totally lying if I said that this video doesn't make me somewhat aroused. I know, really need to work on getting a life. I love the background music...the "ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah" when the coffee is pouring into the glass... http://www1.nespresso.com/precom/accessories/demo/aeroccino/index.php?lang=en
On that note, need to make like the atom and split (eventually, I will run out of these). xo.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Thursday's Thirst Quencher
No blood today. No alcohol either (please! still recovering from yesterday's happy-hour-gone-awry). Let's just quench our thirst for knowledge, shall we? Ooh, and after that, our thirst for peace of mind (who doesn't want peace of mind?)
Sorry, I missed yesterday's Wacky/Wacko, but decided late last night, while watching Shaun kick it on the half-pipe (love that kooky karrot-top) that watching the Olympics with my boys was way more important. So glad I did, what a show! Actually, with reference to yesterday's post, we could go ahead and call Mr. Passan, the yahoo that writes for Yahoo Sports, this week's wacko. Yea, that works.
So.....knowledge? Who wants some? Me, always, even though the knowledge I often seek is useless and doesn't really make me a more valuable member of society.
Random tangent, shared for no particular reason - when I say the word knowledge outloud by itself, I always say it like the priest in The Princess Bride would say it (i.e. nah-widge)
Speaking of marriage, did you know that there is a form of marriage called Polyandry, whereby a woman gets to have multiple husbands? I didn't, so I decided that I need to know what that's all about. My first inclination upon discovering this was, of course, how great would it be to have five husbands, all with different functions, reasons for being, and ways to make me happy? Then, I took it a bit further and thought about the maintenance it would require. Not that kind of maintenance - as usual, your minds go straight to the gutter. I'm talking about the cooking, cleaning, keeping-'em-happy part. And if I had five husbands, would I have to have fifteen kids?
Before we get back to Polyandry, I need to digress (Warning: sharp left ahead) and share an excerpt from a fantastic book I received recently from a girlfriend. The Sweet Potato Queens' Book of Love is a must-have for every girl's library. It's a mindless beach book, but very funny. There are actually five or six Sweet Potato Queen (SPQ) books in the series. The target audience is middle-aged women (note: I'm not there yet), but their words of wisdom benefit all of us. Another of my favorites: The Sweet Potato Queens' Field Guide to Men: Every Man I Love Is Either Married, Gay, or Dead. There are more than 6,000 chapters of SPQs around the globe, including one in Saudi Arabia. Bonkers. It's like a cult. If you get a sec, check out the SPQ website: http://sweetpotatoqueens.com/
Anyhoo, integral to SPQ doctrine is this...
"The Five Men You Must Have in Your Life at All Times. A very wise woman told us this once, and we really took it to heart: There are five different kinds of men that you must endeavor to have in your life at all times in order to have the equivalent of one completely satisfactory man. She explained that it is clearly not possible to find all the required attributes in one single man, and we should not expend needless energy by even looking for him - we'd be damn lucky to find the five separate men. In her valued opinion, trying to live one's entire life without, say, dancing just because your man doesn't like to dance - well, you might be able to manage, but is this really something you want to spend the next fifty years doing?
The Basic Five are these: (1) a man who can fix things, (2) a man you can dance with, (3) a man who can pay for things, (4) a man you can talk to, and (5) a man to have great sex with. As I said, this is the rudimentary team you need to form, according to our sage adviser. Certainly other functions can be added to suit your more refined tastes, but with this starting lineup, you can at least avoid abject misery."
Makes perfect sense to me. Only catch, as I mentioned before, would be figuring out how to hold up my end of the bargain whilst juggling all those boys.
No blood today. No alcohol either (please! still recovering from yesterday's happy-hour-gone-awry). Let's just quench our thirst for knowledge, shall we? Ooh, and after that, our thirst for peace of mind (who doesn't want peace of mind?)
Sorry, I missed yesterday's Wacky/Wacko, but decided late last night, while watching Shaun kick it on the half-pipe (love that kooky karrot-top) that watching the Olympics with my boys was way more important. So glad I did, what a show! Actually, with reference to yesterday's post, we could go ahead and call Mr. Passan, the yahoo that writes for Yahoo Sports, this week's wacko. Yea, that works.
So.....knowledge? Who wants some? Me, always, even though the knowledge I often seek is useless and doesn't really make me a more valuable member of society.
Random tangent, shared for no particular reason - when I say the word knowledge outloud by itself, I always say it like the priest in The Princess Bride would say it (i.e. nah-widge)
Speaking of marriage, did you know that there is a form of marriage called Polyandry, whereby a woman gets to have multiple husbands? I didn't, so I decided that I need to know what that's all about. My first inclination upon discovering this was, of course, how great would it be to have five husbands, all with different functions, reasons for being, and ways to make me happy? Then, I took it a bit further and thought about the maintenance it would require. Not that kind of maintenance - as usual, your minds go straight to the gutter. I'm talking about the cooking, cleaning, keeping-'em-happy part. And if I had five husbands, would I have to have fifteen kids?
Before we get back to Polyandry, I need to digress (Warning: sharp left ahead) and share an excerpt from a fantastic book I received recently from a girlfriend. The Sweet Potato Queens' Book of Love is a must-have for every girl's library. It's a mindless beach book, but very funny. There are actually five or six Sweet Potato Queen (SPQ) books in the series. The target audience is middle-aged women (note: I'm not there yet), but their words of wisdom benefit all of us. Another of my favorites: The Sweet Potato Queens' Field Guide to Men: Every Man I Love Is Either Married, Gay, or Dead. There are more than 6,000 chapters of SPQs around the globe, including one in Saudi Arabia. Bonkers. It's like a cult. If you get a sec, check out the SPQ website: http://sweetpotatoqueens.com/
Anyhoo, integral to SPQ doctrine is this...
"The Five Men You Must Have in Your Life at All Times. A very wise woman told us this once, and we really took it to heart: There are five different kinds of men that you must endeavor to have in your life at all times in order to have the equivalent of one completely satisfactory man. She explained that it is clearly not possible to find all the required attributes in one single man, and we should not expend needless energy by even looking for him - we'd be damn lucky to find the five separate men. In her valued opinion, trying to live one's entire life without, say, dancing just because your man doesn't like to dance - well, you might be able to manage, but is this really something you want to spend the next fifty years doing?
The Basic Five are these: (1) a man who can fix things, (2) a man you can dance with, (3) a man who can pay for things, (4) a man you can talk to, and (5) a man to have great sex with. As I said, this is the rudimentary team you need to form, according to our sage adviser. Certainly other functions can be added to suit your more refined tastes, but with this starting lineup, you can at least avoid abject misery."
Makes perfect sense to me. Only catch, as I mentioned before, would be figuring out how to hold up my end of the bargain whilst juggling all those boys.
Back to Polyandry, the practice of having more than one husband or male mate at one time. This is not a practice that's really held up through the ages (it's illegal for the most part, as is polygany, except in a handful of places). It occurs among populations where there are fewer women than men, or as a result of geographical conditions or economic problems. Some forms of polyandry are associated with a perceived need to retain aristocratic titles or land within kin groups, and/or because of the frequent absence, for long periods, of a man from the household.
Fraternal polyandry is a form of polyandry in which two or more brothers share one wife. When there was limited land for usage in Tibet, a group of brothers all married the same woman.
By marrying the same woman they were able to produce fewer children and avoid a split in their future inheritance. Can you imagine, having to marry an unruly band of Tibeten brothers?
Polyandry occurs or has occurred in Tibet, the Canadian Arctic, Zanskar, Nepal, Bhutan, Ladakh, the Nymba, and Sri Lanka, and is known to have been present in some pre-contact Polynesian societies, though probably only among higher caste women. It is also encountered in some regions of Mongolia, among the Mosuo people in China, and in some Sub-Saharan African and American indigenous communities. In other societies, there are people who live in de facto polyandrous arrangements that are not recognized by the law.
While we're here, let's visit Polyamory, the distant, but way more fun cousin of Polyandry. Polyamory is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. It's also described as consensual, ethical, or responsible non-monogamy. Hmmmmm...there's a conversation starter for the dinner table tonight. Crazy stuff. I've never even come across it, but it's big. An estimated 500,000 Americans live a polyamourous lifestyle. Found an interesting Newsweek article that sheds more light on this kookiness. http://www.newsweek.com/id/209164 . If it's in Newsweek, is it safe to assume that this is a fairly mainstream concept? Again...hmmmmm...
Peace of Mind - Sharon Moss, Quenching People's Need to Have Their Affairs in Order, One Saved Soul at a Time
Switching gears (and vehicles, and galaxies), a friend of mine shared this today and I had such a giggle, no...a full-on pee-your-pants kinda laugh, I just had to pass it on. For those of you who are polyamorists, or participate in other hedonistic lifestyles, this won't apply. For those of you waiting for The Rapture who have pets, take note. Sharon Moss, in Westfield, Indiana, has set up a website to take care of your pets when Jesus comes back to get you. For a mere $10/month, you can protect up to three of your furry friends from being abandoned when you head to the Promised Land. Hello????? What in God's name is going out there? Are you fricking kidding me???? See for yourself: http://www.aftertherapturepetcare.com/. She takes PayPal, and you can follow her on Twitter - https://twitter.com/rapturepetcare. You can't make this sh*t up.
On that note, time to make like the Red Sea and part. xo.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Jeff, Passan, award-winning writer for Yahoo Sports, is a Ginormous A-hole (Note the Capital 'A')
Anyone catch Women's Snowboardcross yesterday? Lindsey Jacobellis, Team USA, who kinda botched it (okay, really botched it) at the finish line in '06, was the go-to girl for gold in '10, and everyone was rooting for her redemption. Didn't happen, as she messed up a jump, over-corrected, and slid into a gate. As if that wasn't painful enough for her, she has to endure the likes of walking-talking A-holes like this guy who, by the way, is a baseball writer - very relevant - I'm sure he's read at least two books about snowboarding. Anyhoo, nothing like kicking her once, and once more for good measure, while she is down. You probably saw his scathing article on the Yahoo home page this morning http://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/vancouver/snowboard/news?slug=jp-jacobellis021610&prov=yhoo&type=lgns
what a dick!!!
Yeah, yeah...I get it...Who doesn't want our revered and loved US athletes to make us proud and bring home the gold? Certainly in a snowboarding event, as the US is a snowboarding nation. That said, can't we have some basic respect for people who put their heart and soul and every ounce of their being into the sport but, for lack of a better way to put it, are still human.
My 11-year-old, who is a boarder and loves it more than most things, will see the article on his homepage when he logs on today. He will no doubt read it, because it's about snowboarding. What kind of message are we sending here? These athletes are supposed to be heroes for our kids, no? Maybe I'm missing something. Imagine 100 years ago, running out to get the newspaper to find out what was going on at the Olympic Games, and reading the headline, "Sorry, Your Hero is Really a Big Fat Loser". Wouldn't have happened.
On a final note, Passan's comment at the end of the article about Jacobellis representing everything that's wrong with kids these days - what is he, twelve? I was so disappointed to read this piece of sh*t article when I woke up this morning - did I mention? what a dick!!!
Anyone catch Women's Snowboardcross yesterday? Lindsey Jacobellis, Team USA, who kinda botched it (okay, really botched it) at the finish line in '06, was the go-to girl for gold in '10, and everyone was rooting for her redemption. Didn't happen, as she messed up a jump, over-corrected, and slid into a gate. As if that wasn't painful enough for her, she has to endure the likes of walking-talking A-holes like this guy who, by the way, is a baseball writer - very relevant - I'm sure he's read at least two books about snowboarding. Anyhoo, nothing like kicking her once, and once more for good measure, while she is down. You probably saw his scathing article on the Yahoo home page this morning http://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/vancouver/snowboard/news?slug=jp-jacobellis021610&prov=yhoo&type=lgnswhat a dick!!!
Yeah, yeah...I get it...Who doesn't want our revered and loved US athletes to make us proud and bring home the gold? Certainly in a snowboarding event, as the US is a snowboarding nation. That said, can't we have some basic respect for people who put their heart and soul and every ounce of their being into the sport but, for lack of a better way to put it, are still human.
My 11-year-old, who is a boarder and loves it more than most things, will see the article on his homepage when he logs on today. He will no doubt read it, because it's about snowboarding. What kind of message are we sending here? These athletes are supposed to be heroes for our kids, no? Maybe I'm missing something. Imagine 100 years ago, running out to get the newspaper to find out what was going on at the Olympic Games, and reading the headline, "Sorry, Your Hero is Really a Big Fat Loser". Wouldn't have happened.
On a final note, Passan's comment at the end of the article about Jacobellis representing everything that's wrong with kids these days - what is he, twelve? I was so disappointed to read this piece of sh*t article when I woke up this morning - did I mention? what a dick!!!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Tuesday's Teaser
First, an update on last Tuesday's teaser...Am now reading the book I was plugging last week (pardon the pun) - Corked: A Memoir, by Kathyrn Borel. For all of my wine-drinking friends out there who have one or more dysfunctional relationships...well, guess that means EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU...you need to read this book. I am halfway through, and loving every page. I get really distraught when I like a book so much, knowing full well that it's not Homer's Odyssey and therefore cannot continue on indefinitely. Anyway, Ms. Borel has so many qualities, thoughts, and fears that define me...it's a bit eerie.
Example. The author is on a wine-tasting trip-of-a-lifetime with her overbearing, never-satisfied father, who has spent his life in the hotel industry and is therefore lined up at any chance to complain about the service. They are checking out of the first hotel on their journey through French wine-country, and he is, not surprisingly, standing at the checkout desk, screaming his head off.
Kathryn, meanwhile, thinking that it's just not worth the expended energy, has this to say..."It's no help that I, on the other hand, live in fear that my mistreatment of a waiter, or a salesclerk, or a taxi driver, will automatically result in that person being declared the Master of the Known Universe by some cruel (but fair) cabal and I will spend the rest of my days being fed a diet of garbage slurry and mashed-up Madagascar cockroaches, naked, while being cattle-prodded by zombie-ghosts with melting faces in bloody army attire". Wow!! That is me. I would sooner die than return a meal, even if it wasn't close to what I ordered, or criticize a taxi driver, etc.. Not because I don't like confrontation, but because I seriously believe that karmically it will come back to bite me in the ass. Strange, no?
Woooohooooo!!!
Moving on...today's first teaser is really a teaser, unless you happen to be in the vicinity of Orlando and can get to the House of Blues next Saturday at 8:00pm. If that's the case, call me. I am suffering a bit from concert withdrawel at the moment, and was searching LiveNation.com this morning to figure out what's coming down the pike, when what to my wondering eyes should appear? Live at the House of Blues - one of the top three on my list of musical goddesses, EVER... the Indigo Girls.
First, an update on last Tuesday's teaser...Am now reading the book I was plugging last week (pardon the pun) - Corked: A Memoir, by Kathyrn Borel. For all of my wine-drinking friends out there who have one or more dysfunctional relationships...well, guess that means EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU...you need to read this book. I am halfway through, and loving every page. I get really distraught when I like a book so much, knowing full well that it's not Homer's Odyssey and therefore cannot continue on indefinitely. Anyway, Ms. Borel has so many qualities, thoughts, and fears that define me...it's a bit eerie.
Example. The author is on a wine-tasting trip-of-a-lifetime with her overbearing, never-satisfied father, who has spent his life in the hotel industry and is therefore lined up at any chance to complain about the service. They are checking out of the first hotel on their journey through French wine-country, and he is, not surprisingly, standing at the checkout desk, screaming his head off.
Kathryn, meanwhile, thinking that it's just not worth the expended energy, has this to say..."It's no help that I, on the other hand, live in fear that my mistreatment of a waiter, or a salesclerk, or a taxi driver, will automatically result in that person being declared the Master of the Known Universe by some cruel (but fair) cabal and I will spend the rest of my days being fed a diet of garbage slurry and mashed-up Madagascar cockroaches, naked, while being cattle-prodded by zombie-ghosts with melting faces in bloody army attire". Wow!! That is me. I would sooner die than return a meal, even if it wasn't close to what I ordered, or criticize a taxi driver, etc.. Not because I don't like confrontation, but because I seriously believe that karmically it will come back to bite me in the ass. Strange, no?
Woooohooooo!!!
Moving on...today's first teaser is really a teaser, unless you happen to be in the vicinity of Orlando and can get to the House of Blues next Saturday at 8:00pm. If that's the case, call me. I am suffering a bit from concert withdrawel at the moment, and was searching LiveNation.com this morning to figure out what's coming down the pike, when what to my wondering eyes should appear? Live at the House of Blues - one of the top three on my list of musical goddesses, EVER... the Indigo Girls.
Even cooler, Brandi Carlile is performing with them. Here is one of her best diddys. It is my idea of a sad, rainy day song, but it's beautiful, and I love it.
I've seen the Indigo Girls live six or seven times, and never, ever been disappointed. I have a friend coming from Budapest next week, so I just need to make sure he'll be comfortable in a room with a million lesbians before I order the tix :) Any other takers??
PS-Currently one of my favorite Girls' songs (featuring another top-rockin' goddess, Pink)
Les Macarons - Pour Les Americains, C'est Macaroons
This just in...macaroons are taking over the world. Okay, maybe not the world, but they are definitely all the rage, the hot new trend in sweet treats, and are apparently pushing the gourmet cupcake right out the door. Sorry, I realize Valentine's Day is barely behind us, but couldn't help going here with the next tempting teaser. Meanwhile, we sit, trying to polish off the last evil truffle, or morsel of Godiva (in my case, it's chocolate-covered espresso beans - curse you evil beans!).
Anyway, these fantastic French 'cookies' are popping up everywhere...they were featured in Food&Wine Magazine (Dec.'09) and are Blair's new addiction on Gossip Girl. I first came upon the macaroon when my BFF introduced me to them in Paris a couple years ago. Had no idea what she was on about, nor did I get why we had to traipse through the city, on a quest to take part in the whole macaroon experience. Just couldn't imagine what was so great about a couple o' blobs of meringue sandwiched together with ganache, buttercream, or jam.
Not knowing what I was in for, I followed her to Ladurée (http://www.laduree.fr/).
Holy orgasm on a plate/in a box, Batman! Unbelievable. And there are like 500 different flavors.
Warning: do NOT click on this link if you have a sweet tooth - you will be making a beeline for the closest batch of sugar: http://www.laduree.fr/public_fr/produits/macarons_accueil.htm. OMG!!!
And the bakery/tearoom is something out of a movie...
In the event that you have ANY opportunity to have a macaroon (I'm talking real-deal, not found on the shelf of your local grocer), JUST DO IT!!!
If you can't find them locally and are looking for a special present for that special someone, or just want to try the real thing, I found a company in New Orleans that has flat-rate shipping and fairly reasonable prices, by French standards :) http://www.shopsucre.com/macaroons.html
PS. My birthday is June 7th. Mailing address is 19702 Prince Benjamin Drive, Lutz, Florida, 33549. xo.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Monday's Mayhem - Pastor Wiley Drake
In honor of President's Day, this seemed appropriate.
You may remember me mentioning last week, Hubby is reading a new book , Wingnuts: How the Lunatic Fringe Is Hijacking America, by John Avlon. This is newsworthy in and of itself, as lately he's not prone to read anything outside of CNN news updates and articles published by The Cato Institute (www.catoinstitue.org).
For those of you, like me, who have now left their comfort zone, we'll go back to basics for a minute. The definition of a wingnut: someone who holds extreme political views. These guys/gals could be extreme right or extreme left, and in many cases, are extremely unstable. Mr. Avlon, among others, believes that the wingnuts, who constitute the 'lunatic fringe', are enabling, and in some cases expediting the 'fall of Rome'.
In honor of President's Day, Mr. Avlon dedicated his column (http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2010-02-14/praying-for-obamas-death/) to one of the wannabe-Wingnuts mentioned in his book, Pastor Wiley Drake, of the First Southern Baptist Church in Orange County, California.
Pastor Preposterous, or P.Preppy* as he shall be referred to going forward, has been in the news quite a bit since last summer, mainly for the blatant call to his whackjob followers to participate in what is known among wingnuts as the "Imprecatory Prayer". This is explained, in layman's terms, as people praying for the death of a leader, in this case President Obama.
*I toyed with Pastor Plate-In-His-Head, but decided I didn't want to put him in the same category and offend people who have actually had lobotomies.
Psalm 109:8 is the basis for this very Christian approach to seeking change in leadership. It reads, “May his days be few; may another take his place of leadership” followed by “May his children be fatherless and his wife a widow.” Nice! (pronounced 'nah-eeee-ssss').
P.Preppy celebrated President's Day weekend, not by reflecting on all the great leaders who have helped to build this (formerly) great country, but by sending an email to his nutball congregation, telling them that Imprecatory Prayer is now their DUTY. E-to the-mother-frickin'-G-A-D-S = EGADS!!!
Were this just another whacko, spouting his gobbeldy-gook for nobody to hear, I would feel much better. It's not. There are lots of 'em, all over the country, and people are listening.
Avlon goes on to discuss another COMPLETE NUTTER, the Reverend Steven L. Anderson, who hails from the Faithful Word Baptist Church in Tempe, Arizona. You may remember, Anderson was also the subject of much controversy last summer. And I quote, "I hate Barack Obama...I am not going to pray for his good. I am going to pray that he dies and goes to Hell.”
How much more Christ-like could one possibly strive to be?? TERRIFYING for me, that people would even turn up on Sunday to hear this guy sneeze, let alone speak. Religious freaks aside, what happened to having an ounce of faith, if not necessarily total agreement, in the way our political system works?
Have heard Hubby, at least eight times since he started reading the book over the weekend, muttering under his breath, "We are doomed". Not doomed to Hell by a fair but just God, doomed because this is going on all around us and nobody seems to be terribly concerned. When we came back to the US in '08 after being gone for almost 12 years, one of the first things that Bill noticed, and that bothered him tremendously, was the disappearing concept called Separation of Church and State. Surveys show that America's young voters are actually getting the memo and starting to embrace the idea - good to know, but these freaks of nature are still out there. When the 'lunatic fringe' is using the pulpit every Sunday to propogate it's own political agenda, how much scarier can it possibly get?
Check out Mr. Avlon's column from yesterday if you get a minute, well worth the read. And another contribution to CNN.com last June: http://amfix.blogs.cnn.com/2009/06/12/wingnuts-of-the-week-5/#more-3423
Don't think mayhem even begins to describe.
In honor of President's Day, this seemed appropriate.
You may remember me mentioning last week, Hubby is reading a new book , Wingnuts: How the Lunatic Fringe Is Hijacking America, by John Avlon. This is newsworthy in and of itself, as lately he's not prone to read anything outside of CNN news updates and articles published by The Cato Institute (www.catoinstitue.org).
For those of you, like me, who have now left their comfort zone, we'll go back to basics for a minute. The definition of a wingnut: someone who holds extreme political views. These guys/gals could be extreme right or extreme left, and in many cases, are extremely unstable. Mr. Avlon, among others, believes that the wingnuts, who constitute the 'lunatic fringe', are enabling, and in some cases expediting the 'fall of Rome'.
In honor of President's Day, Mr. Avlon dedicated his column (http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2010-02-14/praying-for-obamas-death/) to one of the wannabe-Wingnuts mentioned in his book, Pastor Wiley Drake, of the First Southern Baptist Church in Orange County, California.
Pastor Preposterous, or P.Preppy* as he shall be referred to going forward, has been in the news quite a bit since last summer, mainly for the blatant call to his whackjob followers to participate in what is known among wingnuts as the "Imprecatory Prayer". This is explained, in layman's terms, as people praying for the death of a leader, in this case President Obama.
*I toyed with Pastor Plate-In-His-Head, but decided I didn't want to put him in the same category and offend people who have actually had lobotomies.
Psalm 109:8 is the basis for this very Christian approach to seeking change in leadership. It reads, “May his days be few; may another take his place of leadership” followed by “May his children be fatherless and his wife a widow.” Nice! (pronounced 'nah-eeee-ssss').
P.Preppy celebrated President's Day weekend, not by reflecting on all the great leaders who have helped to build this (formerly) great country, but by sending an email to his nutball congregation, telling them that Imprecatory Prayer is now their DUTY. E-to the-mother-frickin'-G-A-D-S = EGADS!!!
Were this just another whacko, spouting his gobbeldy-gook for nobody to hear, I would feel much better. It's not. There are lots of 'em, all over the country, and people are listening.
Avlon goes on to discuss another COMPLETE NUTTER, the Reverend Steven L. Anderson, who hails from the Faithful Word Baptist Church in Tempe, Arizona. You may remember, Anderson was also the subject of much controversy last summer. And I quote, "I hate Barack Obama...I am not going to pray for his good. I am going to pray that he dies and goes to Hell.”
How much more Christ-like could one possibly strive to be?? TERRIFYING for me, that people would even turn up on Sunday to hear this guy sneeze, let alone speak. Religious freaks aside, what happened to having an ounce of faith, if not necessarily total agreement, in the way our political system works?
Have heard Hubby, at least eight times since he started reading the book over the weekend, muttering under his breath, "We are doomed". Not doomed to Hell by a fair but just God, doomed because this is going on all around us and nobody seems to be terribly concerned. When we came back to the US in '08 after being gone for almost 12 years, one of the first things that Bill noticed, and that bothered him tremendously, was the disappearing concept called Separation of Church and State. Surveys show that America's young voters are actually getting the memo and starting to embrace the idea - good to know, but these freaks of nature are still out there. When the 'lunatic fringe' is using the pulpit every Sunday to propogate it's own political agenda, how much scarier can it possibly get?
Check out Mr. Avlon's column from yesterday if you get a minute, well worth the read. And another contribution to CNN.com last June: http://amfix.blogs.cnn.com/2009/06/12/wingnuts-of-the-week-5/#more-3423
Don't think mayhem even begins to describe.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Sofa-Surfin' on a Sunny Day
Gorgeous day, actually...68 and sunny, not a cloud in the sky. And here I sit, still in my PJ 's at 4:30, not even pretending to watch the world go by. Could give a stuff* where the world goes at the moment, quite happy in my own little corner of it. My parents arrived yesterday. YAY!! They're camping in their trailer at an RV park around the corner, but are hanging out with us today, sofa-surfin' and watching the Daytona 500. I'm not a NASCAR fan, but they love it, and I'm up for any excuse to eat junk food, drink white wine spritzers (probably not the official drink of NASCAR), and stay in my PJ's. We're all parked in front of the tv, and the drivers are parked on the track. They've been sitting there for over an hour. No big messy wrecks yet today, but now we're at a complete standstill, listening to the talking-heads just go on about nothing. Woohoo!
*re: 'I don't give a stuff' (i.e. sh*t), am trying to figure out if this saying is Australian or British originally. Anyone?
Since my topic of the day is fairly undefined, I can proceed without rhyme or reason. I knew I could find a way to like Sunday, which for me is usually a good day up until the point I remember that tomorrow has to be Monday. The free-to-be blogging diversion could improve all that going forward, as long as it doesn't turn out to be one of those gloomy, gray, wrist-slitting kinda Sundays.
Weather Report
Speaking of gloomy, let's re-cap the weather up north this week. The capital has been completely shut down (not entirely a bad thing - see cartoon below), and it has been a virtual nightmare for people to even get out of their houses on the Eastern Seaboard. Hopefully I will remember this when it is 145 degrees in Florida in August and I'm sweating like a whore in church.
Gorgeous day, actually...68 and sunny, not a cloud in the sky. And here I sit, still in my PJ 's at 4:30, not even pretending to watch the world go by. Could give a stuff* where the world goes at the moment, quite happy in my own little corner of it. My parents arrived yesterday. YAY!! They're camping in their trailer at an RV park around the corner, but are hanging out with us today, sofa-surfin' and watching the Daytona 500. I'm not a NASCAR fan, but they love it, and I'm up for any excuse to eat junk food, drink white wine spritzers (probably not the official drink of NASCAR), and stay in my PJ's. We're all parked in front of the tv, and the drivers are parked on the track. They've been sitting there for over an hour. No big messy wrecks yet today, but now we're at a complete standstill, listening to the talking-heads just go on about nothing. Woohoo!
*re: 'I don't give a stuff' (i.e. sh*t), am trying to figure out if this saying is Australian or British originally. Anyone?
Since my topic of the day is fairly undefined, I can proceed without rhyme or reason. I knew I could find a way to like Sunday, which for me is usually a good day up until the point I remember that tomorrow has to be Monday. The free-to-be blogging diversion could improve all that going forward, as long as it doesn't turn out to be one of those gloomy, gray, wrist-slitting kinda Sundays.
Weather Report
Speaking of gloomy, let's re-cap the weather up north this week. The capital has been completely shut down (not entirely a bad thing - see cartoon below), and it has been a virtual nightmare for people to even get out of their houses on the Eastern Seaboard. Hopefully I will remember this when it is 145 degrees in Florida in August and I'm sweating like a whore in church.
Sidenote - Will Hell Ever Really Freeze Over?
After I found the cartoon above, decided to see what was out there on the topic of Hell actually freezing over. Scary how my brain works, no? Anyway, here's what I found, and I think it's pretty damn funny.
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The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington engineering exam. The answer was so profound that the Professor shared it with colleagues, and it's been forwarded on.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (emits heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up then it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let us look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year that "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze."
The student received the only "A" given.
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hee.hee.hee.....hee.hee... once again, you witness me being easily amused, but you have to admit - that's funny.
Back to the weather at hand. The in-laws are in Baltimore, buried up to their asses in snow (something like 4 feet in the last week with all the snow drifts, and 80-some inches so far this winter). That said, I thought this relevant and very professional weather update on Friday was a must-share. Tell me that this freaking weather weenie isn't four sandwiches short of a picnic. Giving him the benefit of the doubt...maybe he got laid before heading to the studio Friday morning and is just a very happy camper. If not, and he's doesn't have his finger on the pulse that is Oxycontin, then we can assume he is, without a doubt, a whackjob.
On to the lighter, more cultured side of sidenotes...
Playing with Pictures: The Art of Victorian Photocollage
This is a really cool exhibition that opened last week at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in NYC, running from now until May 9th. I was all poised to somehow finagel Hubby into a trip up there to kill two birds with one stone and combine this great cultural experience with that of Ricky, LIVE AT MADISON SQUARE GARDEN. Had the airfares sussed out and everything. Can you imagine my utter dismay when I discovered that Ricky's show is May 13-14th, so there is no feasible way to combine the two in one weekend? Ricky will no doubt win. Beware, Mr. Childs, guests on the horizon. Workin' it, and it could happen.
Anyway, back to the exhibition. Most people don't know that (1) I have a big thing for old family photos, or (2) that I'm a wannabe scrapbooker. Have all the sh*t I could possibly need to make the scrappin' dream a reality, literally a roomful(l), but do not possess the dedication to make it happen. My point in sharing??..this is the kinda stuff I would do in lieu of scrapbooking, IF I had a single artistic bone in my body. Check out the website, or if you're lucky enough to be in NYC in the next few months, go see it in person. If you click on one of the images on the link below, you can just keep scrolling through all of them.
http://www.metmuseum.org/special/victorian_photocollage/images.asp
The artwork is a collection of collages, using photographs/portraits and painted or drawn backgrounds, created by aristocratic British women (not unlike myself. ha.ha) in the late 1800's. Sounds like a snooz-fest, but you have to see the images. The exhibit is composed of albums and framed pages, created to organize pictures of family and friends, not unlike scrapbook albums do today.
Sidenote of a sidenote - Scrapbooking is now a multi-billion dollar industry. Bonkers. And frightening, if you ask me. Think of all the money we're spending as a nation on that stuff, when the average American household has $30k in credit card debt. Ironic, no, that I don't know more than two people who EVER actually print out their photos, and yet someone is racking up a multi-billion dollar tab putting them into scrapbooks. hmmmmm???
Is it safe to say you've have enough of me for one day?
Monday's Mayhem, on deck. xo.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Saturday's Saucy Solution
It' that time again...where to go with today's post??...first, back to Webster and Co. for enlightenment:
Saucy \sȯ-sē\ (Me? I would write that \sah-see\, emphasis on the 'sah'). adj.
1 : served with or having the consistency of sauce
2 a : impertinently bold and impudent b : amusingly forward and flippant : irrepressible
3 : smart, trim (e.g. a saucy little number)
Okay, saucy it shall be...
1. having the consistency of sauce...I actually found this when I googled 'saucy solution' and am making it for dinner tomorrow, with breaded chicken on top. Remember when Sunday dinner was a big, fat, hairy deal? Not anymore, kiddies. Nuh-uh. At my house, Sunday = easy-peasy and pleasy, occasionally with a bit of cheesy.
Anyhoo, here's a great recipe for Fresh Marinara Sauce - YUM!!! The only thing better than fresh marinara sauce is fresh pasta to serve it with. I'm a fan of fresh pasta, but I'm not crazy, so I will go ahead and purchase the latter part of the equation.
This recipe serves four, so you probably want to double or quadruple it (my guys would eat double this quantity on a full stomach).
Ingredients -
2 tablespoons chopped garlic
1/4 cup olive oil
2 medium onions, chopped
1 large bell pepper, chopped
1/4 cup chopped fresh basil
2 tablespoons chopped fresh oregano
1 bay leaf
1 1/2 quarts chopped tomatoes
2 teaspoons sugar
Salt and pepper to taste
1 pound fresh/dry linguine, cooked according to package directions
Chopped fresh parsley
Grated Parmesan Regiano
Directions -
Saute garlic in olive oil until golden.
Add onion and bell pepper and saute 5 to 7 minutes, until onion is translucent.
Core and coarsely chop tomatoes. Stir tomatoes, basil, oregano, bay leaf, sugar and salt and bell pepper into the sauteed ingredients. Cook uncovered over medium heat for 10 to 15 minutes, stirring frequently. To serve, put cooked linguine in large bowl, top with sauce, and garnish with parsley and grated cheese.
2.impertinently bold and impudent b : amusingly forward and flippant: irrepressible
In Hubby's dictionary, saucy (bold, impudent, forward, flippant, irrepressible)equals this...
3 : smart, trim (a saucy little number)
In honor of their domination of the MySpace music charts after their video debuted yesterday, the Sauce of the Day award goes to Justin Tranter of Semi Precious Weapons.
Just started listening to these guys (thanks for the turn-on, KMC), and I really, really like 'em, in a drink-eight-shots-o-tequila-&-go-nuts kinda way. Not for the faint-hearted, or for those who are easily offended. Won't embed the video, but here's the link:
http://www.myspace.com/semipreciousweapons
You need to scroll down to play the video. Justin = SAUCY!!!
Think that just about wraps it up for today's saucy session.
xo.
It' that time again...where to go with today's post??...first, back to Webster and Co. for enlightenment:
Saucy \sȯ-sē\ (Me? I would write that \sah-see\, emphasis on the 'sah'). adj.
1 : served with or having the consistency of sauce
2 a : impertinently bold and impudent b : amusingly forward and flippant : irrepressible
3 : smart, trim (e.g. a saucy little number)
Okay, saucy it shall be...
1. having the consistency of sauce...I actually found this when I googled 'saucy solution' and am making it for dinner tomorrow, with breaded chicken on top. Remember when Sunday dinner was a big, fat, hairy deal? Not anymore, kiddies. Nuh-uh. At my house, Sunday = easy-peasy and pleasy, occasionally with a bit of cheesy.
Anyhoo, here's a great recipe for Fresh Marinara Sauce - YUM!!! The only thing better than fresh marinara sauce is fresh pasta to serve it with. I'm a fan of fresh pasta, but I'm not crazy, so I will go ahead and purchase the latter part of the equation.
This recipe serves four, so you probably want to double or quadruple it (my guys would eat double this quantity on a full stomach).
Ingredients -
2 tablespoons chopped garlic
1/4 cup olive oil
2 medium onions, chopped
1 large bell pepper, chopped
1/4 cup chopped fresh basil
2 tablespoons chopped fresh oregano
1 bay leaf
1 1/2 quarts chopped tomatoes
2 teaspoons sugar
Salt and pepper to taste
1 pound fresh/dry linguine, cooked according to package directions
Chopped fresh parsley
Grated Parmesan Regiano
Directions -
Saute garlic in olive oil until golden.
Add onion and bell pepper and saute 5 to 7 minutes, until onion is translucent.
Core and coarsely chop tomatoes. Stir tomatoes, basil, oregano, bay leaf, sugar and salt and bell pepper into the sauteed ingredients. Cook uncovered over medium heat for 10 to 15 minutes, stirring frequently. To serve, put cooked linguine in large bowl, top with sauce, and garnish with parsley and grated cheese.
2.impertinently bold and impudent b : amusingly forward and flippant: irrepressible
In Hubby's dictionary, saucy (bold, impudent, forward, flippant, irrepressible)equals this...
3 : smart, trim (a saucy little number)
In honor of their domination of the MySpace music charts after their video debuted yesterday, the Sauce of the Day award goes to Justin Tranter of Semi Precious Weapons.
Just started listening to these guys (thanks for the turn-on, KMC), and I really, really like 'em, in a drink-eight-shots-o-tequila-&-go-nuts kinda way. Not for the faint-hearted, or for those who are easily offended. Won't embed the video, but here's the link:
http://www.myspace.com/semipreciousweapons
You need to scroll down to play the video. Justin = SAUCY!!!
Think that just about wraps it up for today's saucy session.
xo.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Friday's Fetish
Almost midnight. I'm a bit late posting, but it's been one of those daze here at Chez McGann.
Before I do anything, HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIAM!!! Love you little man! He's eleven today, going on 21. Really - he thinks he is already a playah :) We didn't get to celebrate tonight because he had baseball practice, which subsequently got cancelled, so we're going out to dinner and doing the cake thing tomorrow. He has only one request, and that is cold, hard cash. Keep your giftcards - it's greenbacks or nothing. Grandparents arriving tomorrow as well. Yay!!! Added bonus - more cold, hard cash. In other exciting news, it's also Mr. Lincoln's 201st birthday.
Hubby had a doozy of a Friday. He woke up with some crazy-ass allergic reaction, in the form of a massively swollen epiglottis (can honestly say that's the first time I've ever typed that word), which then caused his airway to be obstructed so he couldn't breathe or swallow properly. We were back and forth to the doctor all day, getting two sets of shots (antihistamine and steroid) but it's still pretty inflamed. If it's not better tomorrow morning, we are headed to the ER. Fun stuff.
So...Friday's Franchise is going to be Friday's Fetish instead. Note the change in the lineup at right. (think I may have mentioned that I have carte blanche?). Way more topics available if we go the fetish route...minds out of the gutter, People, that's not where I was headed. Okay, the thought did occur.
There's no way I could possibly not make my first, foremost, and finest fetish be my number one crush at the moment, the incredibly talented Ricky Gervais *fans herself with a magazine to cool off*. Coincidentally, Ricky-poo also happens to be a franchise. He is the Podfather, a fantastic stand-up comic, a writer, an actor, an unbelievably funny man, and generally...the master of his own empire. He has a great blog: (http://www.rickygervais.com/thissideofthetruth.php). You can almost hear him talking as he writes - guess that's probably because he writes scripts for a living. Rocket scientist that I am, still have the need to make ridiculous statements here and there to throw everyone off a bit.
Anyway, it's safe to say that anything he touches these days turns to gold, including his gig hosting the Golden Globes back in January. I started watching the US version of the office back in the fall, for the first time ever (still on season 3), and knew nothing about Gervais other than the fact that he wrote the show. The curtain was recently lifted, suddenly there was light *angels sing*, and (ironically, with the angels in the background) all Hell broke loose. Apparently I yell his name out in my sleep now and Hubby is starting to have a complex.
I downloaded all 1428 podcasts, the stand-up shows (Animals, Politics, and Fame), the UK version of the Office, his very clever "Guide to..." series, The Invention of Lying (released on DVD last month), and anything else I could get my hands on. Also just pre-ordered his new children's book from Amazon.com.
Check out the video on Amazon.co.uk
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Flanimals-Pop-up-Ricky-Gervais/dp/1406323586?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1242998722&sr=8-11
and link to his other books
http://www.rickygervais.com/flanimals.php.
Have I mentioned that I'm a bit obsessed? Turns out, children's books, more specifically pop-ups, are another one of my guilty pleasures, so it will no doubt be a good day when this one arrives on my doorstep. Easily amused is an understatement.
So, in honor of my fling with Ricky and in keeping up with my end of the bargain(it's gonna happen, he just doesn't know it yet.he.he), I'm thinking I should be supportive and shamelessly plug the movie and tv show that are coming down the pike shortly.
The movie, Cemetery Junction, looks FAB. Here's a link to the the trailer...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYDeHIszUqA
Not many reviews out there yet, but the trailer looks great. Somewhat of a chick-flick, in that it's a coming-of-age romantic comedy, but it's more drama than anything. In his blog this week, he says "If The Office is 80/20 comedy/drama and The Invention of Lying was 50/50, then Cemetery Junction is probably 20/80."
Strange to watch his stand-up, or The Office for that matter, and then ponder him in a dramatic role. The fag hanging out of his mouth in this photo seems all out of place, but I do in fact get that it's acting.
Can't wait to see it. It's being released in the UK on April 14th, but I haven't found a US release date yet. Hmmmmmm.....?? May have to pop across the pond for movie night if they make me wait much longer than that to see it here. Just picturing Hubby's face when I inform him of my grand plan.
And, now onto the more exciting news...the new HBO series, The Ricky Gervais Show *the crowd goes wild*. If you've never listened to his podcasts, which btw have been downloaded more than any other podcast EVER in the UK and probably more than most top 40 hits, check them out. It's great stuff, and easy listening in the car. Definitely not for everyone, but I dig it. Gervais has two sidekicks, his co-writer Stephen Merchant and unlikely Karl Pilkington, who started out as the producer on the original Ricky Gervais radio show. The new HBO show is the animated version of the podcasts, which in and of itself is a pretty novel concept (i.e. they've taken the previously recorded audio clips and animated them). Here are a bunch of HBO's promo clips:
Effing brilliant, and I CANNOT wait to watch the show.
PS-in the event that you don't know what faffin' (faffing) is, neither did I until about three minutes ago. According to the urban dictionary (not actually a reliable source, but still...), it means time wasting or feckin' around. Big smile on my end, as I love British English. Everything except that extra 'u' in some of the words, anyway.
PPS-another cool link - http://www.pilkipedia.co.uk/wiki/index.php?title=Main_Page, covering newsworthy tidbits about the three nutballs.
Officially bedtime for me. Until tomorrow...
xo.
Almost midnight. I'm a bit late posting, but it's been one of those daze here at Chez McGann.
Before I do anything, HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIAM!!! Love you little man! He's eleven today, going on 21. Really - he thinks he is already a playah :) We didn't get to celebrate tonight because he had baseball practice, which subsequently got cancelled, so we're going out to dinner and doing the cake thing tomorrow. He has only one request, and that is cold, hard cash. Keep your giftcards - it's greenbacks or nothing. Grandparents arriving tomorrow as well. Yay!!! Added bonus - more cold, hard cash. In other exciting news, it's also Mr. Lincoln's 201st birthday.
Hubby had a doozy of a Friday. He woke up with some crazy-ass allergic reaction, in the form of a massively swollen epiglottis (can honestly say that's the first time I've ever typed that word), which then caused his airway to be obstructed so he couldn't breathe or swallow properly. We were back and forth to the doctor all day, getting two sets of shots (antihistamine and steroid) but it's still pretty inflamed. If it's not better tomorrow morning, we are headed to the ER. Fun stuff.
So...Friday's Franchise is going to be Friday's Fetish instead. Note the change in the lineup at right. (think I may have mentioned that I have carte blanche?). Way more topics available if we go the fetish route...minds out of the gutter, People, that's not where I was headed. Okay, the thought did occur.
There's no way I could possibly not make my first, foremost, and finest fetish be my number one crush at the moment, the incredibly talented Ricky Gervais *fans herself with a magazine to cool off*. Coincidentally, Ricky-poo also happens to be a franchise. He is the Podfather, a fantastic stand-up comic, a writer, an actor, an unbelievably funny man, and generally...the master of his own empire. He has a great blog: (http://www.rickygervais.com/thissideofthetruth.php). You can almost hear him talking as he writes - guess that's probably because he writes scripts for a living. Rocket scientist that I am, still have the need to make ridiculous statements here and there to throw everyone off a bit.
Anyway, it's safe to say that anything he touches these days turns to gold, including his gig hosting the Golden Globes back in January. I started watching the US version of the office back in the fall, for the first time ever (still on season 3), and knew nothing about Gervais other than the fact that he wrote the show. The curtain was recently lifted, suddenly there was light *angels sing*, and (ironically, with the angels in the background) all Hell broke loose. Apparently I yell his name out in my sleep now and Hubby is starting to have a complex.
I downloaded all 1428 podcasts, the stand-up shows (Animals, Politics, and Fame), the UK version of the Office, his very clever "Guide to..." series, The Invention of Lying (released on DVD last month), and anything else I could get my hands on. Also just pre-ordered his new children's book from Amazon.com.
Check out the video on Amazon.co.uk
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Flanimals-Pop-up-Ricky-Gervais/dp/1406323586?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1242998722&sr=8-11
and link to his other books
http://www.rickygervais.com/flanimals.php.
Have I mentioned that I'm a bit obsessed? Turns out, children's books, more specifically pop-ups, are another one of my guilty pleasures, so it will no doubt be a good day when this one arrives on my doorstep. Easily amused is an understatement.
So, in honor of my fling with Ricky and in keeping up with my end of the bargain(it's gonna happen, he just doesn't know it yet.he.he), I'm thinking I should be supportive and shamelessly plug the movie and tv show that are coming down the pike shortly.
The movie, Cemetery Junction, looks FAB. Here's a link to the the trailer...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYDeHIszUqA
Not many reviews out there yet, but the trailer looks great. Somewhat of a chick-flick, in that it's a coming-of-age romantic comedy, but it's more drama than anything. In his blog this week, he says "If The Office is 80/20 comedy/drama and The Invention of Lying was 50/50, then Cemetery Junction is probably 20/80."
Strange to watch his stand-up, or The Office for that matter, and then ponder him in a dramatic role. The fag hanging out of his mouth in this photo seems all out of place, but I do in fact get that it's acting.
Can't wait to see it. It's being released in the UK on April 14th, but I haven't found a US release date yet. Hmmmmmm.....?? May have to pop across the pond for movie night if they make me wait much longer than that to see it here. Just picturing Hubby's face when I inform him of my grand plan.
And, now onto the more exciting news...the new HBO series, The Ricky Gervais Show *the crowd goes wild*. If you've never listened to his podcasts, which btw have been downloaded more than any other podcast EVER in the UK and probably more than most top 40 hits, check them out. It's great stuff, and easy listening in the car. Definitely not for everyone, but I dig it. Gervais has two sidekicks, his co-writer Stephen Merchant and unlikely Karl Pilkington, who started out as the producer on the original Ricky Gervais radio show. The new HBO show is the animated version of the podcasts, which in and of itself is a pretty novel concept (i.e. they've taken the previously recorded audio clips and animated them). Here are a bunch of HBO's promo clips:
Effing brilliant, and I CANNOT wait to watch the show.
PS-in the event that you don't know what faffin' (faffing) is, neither did I until about three minutes ago. According to the urban dictionary (not actually a reliable source, but still...), it means time wasting or feckin' around. Big smile on my end, as I love British English. Everything except that extra 'u' in some of the words, anyway.
PPS-another cool link - http://www.pilkipedia.co.uk/wiki/index.php?title=Main_Page, covering newsworthy tidbits about the three nutballs.
Officially bedtime for me. Until tomorrow...
xo.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Lunchtime Lyrics - Love Will Tear Us Apart
Couldn't decide, so am posting two versions of the song (Thanks Mr. Qualls (and Mo), for the Joy Division 80's flashback). Totally different, both fabulous. Crazy, how many people have covered it. Love New Order, but you can keep their cover, thanks, roots or no roots. RIP Ian. And if you like the chillin' version, check out Susanna & Co's other absolutely bee-you-tee-ful song, Believer (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0IAISAZ8Bc)
Couldn't decide, so am posting two versions of the song (Thanks Mr. Qualls (and Mo), for the Joy Division 80's flashback). Totally different, both fabulous. Crazy, how many people have covered it. Love New Order, but you can keep their cover, thanks, roots or no roots. RIP Ian. And if you like the chillin' version, check out Susanna & Co's other absolutely bee-you-tee-ful song, Believer (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0IAISAZ8Bc)
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Thursday's Thirst-Quencher
Per Merriam-Webster: Quench\ˈkwench\, transitive verb. a: to bring (something immaterial) to end, typically by satisfying, damping, cooling, or decreasing b: to terminate by or as if by destroying; eliminate c: to relieve or satisfy with liquid
Lots of places I can go with this one. I could...quench one's thirst for a (insert name of cocktail here), or quench one's thirst for...knowledge..gossip..blood... Turns out, I have a few extra minutes this morning (as opposed to any other morning? lol.). Why not eliminate some literal and figurative thirst in one go?
Thirsty+Thursday=Almost Friday=Almost Happy Hour=Cocktail
A most logical equation if you ask me. Please don't ask Mrs. Krajewski, my Algebra II & III teacher (and one of my favorites), she would definitely find something wrong with it. And, come to think of it, you probably shouldn't ask me, I'm on the wagon at the moment. By no means does that imply that I cannot help out a friend(s) in need.
Mango Margarita
This is a personal favorite. I shared it on Facebook awhile back, but in case you weren't there (blink and it's gone sort of thing), here it is again.
Ingredients
1 1/2 ounces Cuervo Especial Gold, if you want your margarita to taste like sh*t
1 1/2 ounces of Patrón Silver, if you don't want it to taste like sh*t
3 ounces lime margarita mix
1 cup diced and peeled mangos-fresh is key. no frozen stuff.
1 1/2 tablespoons sugar
3/8 cup crushed ice
1 wedge lime
Directions
Rub rim of a margarita glass with half a lime and dip into sugar.
Add tequila, lime margarita mix, diced and peeled mangos, and crushed ice.
Mix in blender until smooth. Pour into the glass. Garnish with lime wedge.
Note: you can absolutely move up the ladder tequila-wise, but in my humble opinion that's a perfect waste of tequila.
Next up: Howz about we quench our thirst for blood?
Someone has to do it, or there wouldn't be any blood-thirsty people in the world, and that would take some of the fun out of life, no? I'm not talkin' Edward kinda quenchin', but we'll get there eventually (note to next Thursday). I was actually thinking more along the lines of Palin. Yeah, that's it...Palin. Yeah...GET HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay Guys, before we do that, let's step back a minute and ponder the ridiculousness that is this entire country up in arms because she wrote her notes on her hand at a friggin' tea party. I hate her as much as the next guy. I would be happy to see her permanently deported to Russia, which isn't really that far, because she can see it from her house. The kids could still come and visit. Lots of bears and moose* just waiting to be killed (I'm sure she could pull some strings and get her gun permits translated). It could work. I'd even be happy to serve on the committee to help her get her affairs in order. All that said, do we not have a few more pressing issues at hand (hee.hee.) that we could focus on?
*On an asinine Jessica Simpson 'Chicken of the Sea' sidenote, I strongly believe moose should be meese in the plural form.
Let's start with the fact that a Tea Party Movement even exists, and that it appears to be getting 'political legs' of its' own. Even more concerning than the fact that Tea Party demands appear to be one big pile of contradiction, or that this cutely-named snowball of a party may polarize American politics even further, is the fact that they would ever invite Sarah Palin to speak at their convention in the first place. Can I get an EGADS??!!
I am about as qualified to speak on any political topic as Failin' Palin is to run the country, or even dream about a GOP nomination in 2012. I believe she is a nightmare of a political figure. However, the whole 'notes on her hand' thing, like the aftermath of most political blunders, is nothing more than a crucifixion of the dead horse (while you're still beating it). Leave it, People. Nothing to see here. Move along.
And...just when I thought we weren't going to draw blood, I found this video clip. I'm not a huge Stephen Colbert fan, but this is funny sh*t. Taking my cue from Mr. Colbert here (watch the video) - If it's satire, then that means it's comedy, right? And if it's comedy, then you don't really mean it, right? And if you don't really mean it, then how could anyone claim bloodshed? Decide for yourselves.
If you haven't figured it out, the politics game doesn't interest me much, outside of the comedic relief it provides. I know...I really need to pay more attention. In my defense, I have a husband who is clued in enough for both of us. Doesn't that count?
A book arrived from Amazon yesterday. Obviously, something he ordered - Wingnuts: How the Lunatic Fringe is Hijacking America, John Avlon (http://www.amazon.com/Wingnuts-Lunatic-Fringe-Hijacking-America/dp/0984295119) I read the foreward last night before I fell asleep. Actually, it put me to sleep. Joking. It was surprisingly interesting, and frightening at the same time. The book is basically a summary of Avlon's contributions for the last year to the Daily Beast (http://www.thedailybeast.com/), The premise, bare bones, is basically that people on the extreme left and extreme right are equally loco and destroying American politics. Lots of great points, and even I can read it :)
I have decided that I am going to read the damn book, even if it kills me. Can't imagine anything more painful. And, I'm going to make myself read at least one article a day on Hubby's favorite website: the Cato Institute (http://www.cato.org/). Bleh!! It's like telling me that I have to have brussel sprouts every day for breakfast. Did I mention?...Bleh!! Who knows, it could give us lots to talk about. It could be like foreplay... thinkin' probably not.
Per Merriam-Webster: Quench\ˈkwench\, transitive verb. a: to bring (something immaterial) to end, typically by satisfying, damping, cooling, or decreasing b: to terminate by or as if by destroying; eliminate c: to relieve or satisfy with liquid
Lots of places I can go with this one. I could...quench one's thirst for a (insert name of cocktail here), or quench one's thirst for...knowledge..gossip..blood... Turns out, I have a few extra minutes this morning (as opposed to any other morning? lol.). Why not eliminate some literal and figurative thirst in one go?
Thirsty+Thursday=Almost Friday=Almost Happy Hour=Cocktail
A most logical equation if you ask me. Please don't ask Mrs. Krajewski, my Algebra II & III teacher (and one of my favorites), she would definitely find something wrong with it. And, come to think of it, you probably shouldn't ask me, I'm on the wagon at the moment. By no means does that imply that I cannot help out a friend(s) in need.
Mango Margarita
This is a personal favorite. I shared it on Facebook awhile back, but in case you weren't there (blink and it's gone sort of thing), here it is again.
Ingredients
1 1/2 ounces Cuervo Especial Gold, if you want your margarita to taste like sh*t
1 1/2 ounces of Patrón Silver, if you don't want it to taste like sh*t
3 ounces lime margarita mix
1 cup diced and peeled mangos-fresh is key. no frozen stuff.
1 1/2 tablespoons sugar
3/8 cup crushed ice
1 wedge lime
Directions
Rub rim of a margarita glass with half a lime and dip into sugar.
Add tequila, lime margarita mix, diced and peeled mangos, and crushed ice.
Mix in blender until smooth. Pour into the glass. Garnish with lime wedge.
Note: you can absolutely move up the ladder tequila-wise, but in my humble opinion that's a perfect waste of tequila.
Next up: Howz about we quench our thirst for blood?
Someone has to do it, or there wouldn't be any blood-thirsty people in the world, and that would take some of the fun out of life, no? I'm not talkin' Edward kinda quenchin', but we'll get there eventually (note to next Thursday). I was actually thinking more along the lines of Palin. Yeah, that's it...Palin. Yeah...GET HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay Guys, before we do that, let's step back a minute and ponder the ridiculousness that is this entire country up in arms because she wrote her notes on her hand at a friggin' tea party. I hate her as much as the next guy. I would be happy to see her permanently deported to Russia, which isn't really that far, because she can see it from her house. The kids could still come and visit. Lots of bears and moose* just waiting to be killed (I'm sure she could pull some strings and get her gun permits translated). It could work. I'd even be happy to serve on the committee to help her get her affairs in order. All that said, do we not have a few more pressing issues at hand (hee.hee.) that we could focus on?
*On an asinine Jessica Simpson 'Chicken of the Sea' sidenote, I strongly believe moose should be meese in the plural form.
Let's start with the fact that a Tea Party Movement even exists, and that it appears to be getting 'political legs' of its' own. Even more concerning than the fact that Tea Party demands appear to be one big pile of contradiction, or that this cutely-named snowball of a party may polarize American politics even further, is the fact that they would ever invite Sarah Palin to speak at their convention in the first place. Can I get an EGADS??!!
I am about as qualified to speak on any political topic as Failin' Palin is to run the country, or even dream about a GOP nomination in 2012. I believe she is a nightmare of a political figure. However, the whole 'notes on her hand' thing, like the aftermath of most political blunders, is nothing more than a crucifixion of the dead horse (while you're still beating it). Leave it, People. Nothing to see here. Move along.
And...just when I thought we weren't going to draw blood, I found this video clip. I'm not a huge Stephen Colbert fan, but this is funny sh*t. Taking my cue from Mr. Colbert here (watch the video) - If it's satire, then that means it's comedy, right? And if it's comedy, then you don't really mean it, right? And if you don't really mean it, then how could anyone claim bloodshed? Decide for yourselves.
| The Colbert Report | Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| Sarah Palin Uses a Hand-O-Prompter | ||||
| ||||
If you haven't figured it out, the politics game doesn't interest me much, outside of the comedic relief it provides. I know...I really need to pay more attention. In my defense, I have a husband who is clued in enough for both of us. Doesn't that count?
A book arrived from Amazon yesterday. Obviously, something he ordered - Wingnuts: How the Lunatic Fringe is Hijacking America, John Avlon (http://www.amazon.com/Wingnuts-Lunatic-Fringe-Hijacking-America/dp/0984295119) I read the foreward last night before I fell asleep. Actually, it put me to sleep. Joking. It was surprisingly interesting, and frightening at the same time. The book is basically a summary of Avlon's contributions for the last year to the Daily Beast (http://www.thedailybeast.com/), The premise, bare bones, is basically that people on the extreme left and extreme right are equally loco and destroying American politics. Lots of great points, and even I can read it :)
I have decided that I am going to read the damn book, even if it kills me. Can't imagine anything more painful. And, I'm going to make myself read at least one article a day on Hubby's favorite website: the Cato Institute (http://www.cato.org/). Bleh!! It's like telling me that I have to have brussel sprouts every day for breakfast. Did I mention?...Bleh!! Who knows, it could give us lots to talk about. It could be like foreplay... thinkin' probably not.
Wednesday's Wacky - Animals Wearing Suits by Ryan Berkley
In the event that you noticed, I've changed this in the weekly lineup from Wacko to Wacky/Wacko, thereby giving me much more blogging fodder - could now be a person, place, or a THING....
Let me just continue with that thought, and say that sometimes (e.g. in the case of me), wacky is a thing, and indeed, a good thing. Happens to be the case today. First, a shout out to my long-lost college drinking buddy and fellow whackjob (another case of good whack-hee.hee), Marty. He posted a photo of a polar bear cake on Facebook a few weeks ago that his friend Amy made for him (long story), which is how we arrived here...
Here it is... the (good) Wack 'o' the day... Berkley Illustration. Check it out if you get a second, well worth a click or two.
http://www.etsy.com/shop/berkleyillustration. Few examples (and I do mean, a few...there are hundreds)
I'm enamored. I'm easily amused, People, not necessarily easily enamored. In this instance, guess we could say I'm amused and enamored. Ryan Berkley is an fantastic artist/illustrator, as you will see if you scroll down through his Etsy.com page. PS. If you are not familiar with http://www.etsy.com/, that makes you a ginormous ding-dong. Just sayin'. Incredible stuff - NOT MADE IN CHINA.
From what I gather, Ryan's wife Lucy is an amazing part of the equation (Sorry Ryan, but...you know...behind every man...), writing the blog (http://www.letsshare.typepad.com/), keeping up with fan mail, helping him handle stuff on the marketing/business end. Sidenote - you can see a photo of aforementioned cake, and wayyyy bigger/better photos of Ryan's work on their blog. It's such a great blog, combined with great art... lots of fun. Why don't I ever get to have kooky/kewl people like this for neighbors???
Anyway, his images of animals wearing suits struck a big fat chord, and I've decided to do a whole wall in Riley's bedroom with these fantastic prints. Wondered if Riley would be down with the plan. He's thirteen and prone to irrational outbursts. Kidding. Turns out, he really digs 'em. They are very reasonably priced, and kewl, kewl, kewl!!! Please tell me, how in the frick am I going to choose five? Think it's gonna have to be seven.
I also very much LOVE the Limited Edition prints, but haven't found another wall, or place in the budget for them yet. The previous Limited Edition set, called Champion Festival, is FANTASTIC. Not many left, so check it out. My personal favorite is called "Judge's Choice". There were a bunch of other neat ones, but I think they've been sold out. http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=36359037. Did I tell ya? Fun stuff. Love the seagull (think he's a seagull??) pushing from behind.
I actually sent Ryan/Lucy an email when I discovered these treasures, to see if I might be able to commission an original. He sent me a note back saying that he's swamped at the moment, but to check back. fyi, Ryan, I am now on a mission. They have a great selection of animals already available for purchase, but there's one special animal I would really like to immortalize in a portrait, and if it was wearing a suit it would be that much funnier. Was thinking that I could get it for a combo Bill's b-day/Father's Day gift. Now shooting for Summer 2011.
For those of you who aren't familiar, will now digress and drag you into the story of the nyest (pronounced 'n-yeh-sh-t' in Hungarian) that has been haunting my family for...well, to quote a Kiwi friend, "donkeys' years". A nyest (otherwise known, in English, as a Marten) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marten is a carnivorous animal, found all over Eastern Europe, and is related to the wolverine, mink, and weasel. This particular nyest (let's call him Hamish), relocated his family to our roof way back in 2001.
Poor Hubby spent months, years, hours, and lots of hair (he is now completely bald) trying to get Hamish and Co. to take the hint (i.e. make like a bread truck and haul buns), to no avail. Eventually, we had to call in a nyest specialist. Wish I was kidding. Not kidding. Spent 1 million Hungarian forints ($5k) to nyest-proof the roof with galvanized tin, so that the little bastards couldn't get back in. Economic considerations turned out to be the least of the problem. They are nocturnal animals, so would return to their cozy spot in the roof at exactly 4am every morning after the hunt, which was coincidentally right above our bed. I would sleep like a log through the whole thing, but Bill was a wreck. You know that sleep-deprived-gone-a-bit-mad look? He had it every morning.
Swear, it was the nyest, not me, that has taken those years off his life. As an added bonus, our unwelcome squatters would leave rotting chicken heads and other fantastic surprises in the roof. This was okay in the winter, but left somewhat of a lingering, undesirous smell in the summer. We really thought Hamish had taken off after we installed the tin contraption around the entire roof, but found last summer that he had not only returned to the roof, but somehow managed to get in the garage and under the hood of the car, chewing all the cables in his path. I do realize that this is not going to make the 'Top 10 Anecdotes of 2010' list, but wanted to give you the background on my need for a portrait of this specific animal
On that note, will wrap it up. Check back for Thursday's Thirst Quencher. Haven't really figured out what that means yet, but will do so tomorrow morning. xo.
In the event that you noticed, I've changed this in the weekly lineup from Wacko to Wacky/Wacko, thereby giving me much more blogging fodder - could now be a person, place, or a THING....
Let me just continue with that thought, and say that sometimes (e.g. in the case of me), wacky is a thing, and indeed, a good thing. Happens to be the case today. First, a shout out to my long-lost college drinking buddy and fellow whackjob (another case of good whack-hee.hee), Marty. He posted a photo of a polar bear cake on Facebook a few weeks ago that his friend Amy made for him (long story), which is how we arrived here...
Here it is... the (good) Wack 'o' the day... Berkley Illustration. Check it out if you get a second, well worth a click or two.
http://www.etsy.com/shop/berkleyillustration. Few examples (and I do mean, a few...there are hundreds)
I'm enamored. I'm easily amused, People, not necessarily easily enamored. In this instance, guess we could say I'm amused and enamored. Ryan Berkley is an fantastic artist/illustrator, as you will see if you scroll down through his Etsy.com page. PS. If you are not familiar with http://www.etsy.com/, that makes you a ginormous ding-dong. Just sayin'. Incredible stuff - NOT MADE IN CHINA.
From what I gather, Ryan's wife Lucy is an amazing part of the equation (Sorry Ryan, but...you know...behind every man...), writing the blog (http://www.letsshare.typepad.com/), keeping up with fan mail, helping him handle stuff on the marketing/business end. Sidenote - you can see a photo of aforementioned cake, and wayyyy bigger/better photos of Ryan's work on their blog. It's such a great blog, combined with great art... lots of fun. Why don't I ever get to have kooky/kewl people like this for neighbors???
Anyway, his images of animals wearing suits struck a big fat chord, and I've decided to do a whole wall in Riley's bedroom with these fantastic prints. Wondered if Riley would be down with the plan. He's thirteen and prone to irrational outbursts. Kidding. Turns out, he really digs 'em. They are very reasonably priced, and kewl, kewl, kewl!!! Please tell me, how in the frick am I going to choose five? Think it's gonna have to be seven.
I also very much LOVE the Limited Edition prints, but haven't found another wall, or place in the budget for them yet. The previous Limited Edition set, called Champion Festival, is FANTASTIC. Not many left, so check it out. My personal favorite is called "Judge's Choice". There were a bunch of other neat ones, but I think they've been sold out. http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=36359037. Did I tell ya? Fun stuff. Love the seagull (think he's a seagull??) pushing from behind.
I actually sent Ryan/Lucy an email when I discovered these treasures, to see if I might be able to commission an original. He sent me a note back saying that he's swamped at the moment, but to check back. fyi, Ryan, I am now on a mission. They have a great selection of animals already available for purchase, but there's one special animal I would really like to immortalize in a portrait, and if it was wearing a suit it would be that much funnier. Was thinking that I could get it for a combo Bill's b-day/Father's Day gift. Now shooting for Summer 2011.
For those of you who aren't familiar, will now digress and drag you into the story of the nyest (pronounced 'n-yeh-sh-t' in Hungarian) that has been haunting my family for...well, to quote a Kiwi friend, "donkeys' years". A nyest (otherwise known, in English, as a Marten) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marten is a carnivorous animal, found all over Eastern Europe, and is related to the wolverine, mink, and weasel. This particular nyest (let's call him Hamish), relocated his family to our roof way back in 2001.
Poor Hubby spent months, years, hours, and lots of hair (he is now completely bald) trying to get Hamish and Co. to take the hint (i.e. make like a bread truck and haul buns), to no avail. Eventually, we had to call in a nyest specialist. Wish I was kidding. Not kidding. Spent 1 million Hungarian forints ($5k) to nyest-proof the roof with galvanized tin, so that the little bastards couldn't get back in. Economic considerations turned out to be the least of the problem. They are nocturnal animals, so would return to their cozy spot in the roof at exactly 4am every morning after the hunt, which was coincidentally right above our bed. I would sleep like a log through the whole thing, but Bill was a wreck. You know that sleep-deprived-gone-a-bit-mad look? He had it every morning.
Swear, it was the nyest, not me, that has taken those years off his life. As an added bonus, our unwelcome squatters would leave rotting chicken heads and other fantastic surprises in the roof. This was okay in the winter, but left somewhat of a lingering, undesirous smell in the summer. We really thought Hamish had taken off after we installed the tin contraption around the entire roof, but found last summer that he had not only returned to the roof, but somehow managed to get in the garage and under the hood of the car, chewing all the cables in his path. I do realize that this is not going to make the 'Top 10 Anecdotes of 2010' list, but wanted to give you the background on my need for a portrait of this specific animal
On that note, will wrap it up. Check back for Thursday's Thirst Quencher. Haven't really figured out what that means yet, but will do so tomorrow morning. xo.
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
The First-Ever Tuesday Teaser (at least the first one ever brought to you by me) -
Corked, by Kathryn Borel
This one is more for my women readers...you know who you are...Erika, Mom... Funny enough, the first-ever Tuesday Teaser (whereby I'm trying to convince you to go out and get something) is a book that, while it comes highly recommended by my friend Wendy (thanks, Wendy), I haven't actually read it yet. I ordered it back in November (publish date 02.16.10) and it's enroute from Amazon.com as I type this. It's probably at the UPS store down the road, waiting for Mike-the-UPS-guy to load his truck this morning. Might I just say, while we are here, that Amazon's Prime Shipping program ROCKS??!! $70 a year, and all the 2-day shipping you can handle (you still have to pay for the stuff).
Wait if you want, but I'm extremely confident that my review will be "four thumbs up!!!!" After watching Ms. Borel's videos on the link above, reading lots of reviews, and checking out her blog, (http://www.kathrynborel.com/blog/), I'm happy to promote it sight unseen, more importantly unread.
For me, the best indication that I'm gonna dig it - she's a nutter, not entirely unlike myself. I already love the woman. Not in a love-her-like-a-woman kinda way - slightly more significant than that, you bunch of sickos. She's Canadian, which does not make her more or less attractive to me, btw. Anyhoo, I went to her blog, and the first thing I read was, "If you go to the newsstands in CANADA and AMERICA (Canada’s pants) and you go to the section with girls on the covers of magazines and you open the one that says 'Marie Claire' to a special certain page, you’ll get ... a Q&A with me." hee.hee. What's more fun than Canadian's crackin' on Americans? Not being unpatriotic, but it seems justified, somehow.
So, get out there, People, and order it already (or wait until I've finished it next week and I'll let you borrow my copy:) - http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_7_6?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=corked+kathryn+borel&sprefix=corked.
Hold on to your hats...Wednesday Wackos coming up...
Celebrating Randomness -
No sleep for the weary. My eyes popped open at 1:43am (it was probably 1:41, as I had to get up and pee before I looked at the clock). Have no idea what's going on, but my mind has been on overload for the last twelve hours. It was racing when I went to sleep, and racing when I woke up. No semblance of thought, random sh*t flying all over the place. Made me think of the photo I downloaded earlier (long story), and that maybe this needs to be my icon -
Did someone spike my punch, or what? Anyway, two cups of hot chocolate later, and for lack of a better plan, here I sit. 4:51am now, no point in going back to sleep as I have to start organizing the troops in an hour.
Just added a bunch of silliness to the blog (see column of life-enhancing accoutrements at right). These include, and will not be limited to,
(1) a link to my unhealthy obsession, the new love in my love, comic genius Ricky Gervais. Don't worry, have informed the hubby, and it's all good. I know, I'm about eight years behind the rest of the world, but in my defense, the guy is prolific, so it's not like I've fallen for a has-been. Anyway, will get back to all this at some point in more detail, as the G-vase will require multiple posts down the road.
(2) Tunage- would love to have feedback on the Mixpod (music player) - Is it annoying? I can't figure out how to turn the bloody thing off, so that you can just listen if you want to. Need to figure that out. Anyway, if you don't like it, you can just hit pause.
(3) The other over-the-top addition of the day?? - PONG!!! Love it. If anyone is wondering, the world is indeed bonkers. Had someone told me ten years ago that I'd be spending hours, typing away to virtually nobody in cyberspace, killing those extra minutes with a game or two of pong on my blog, I would've kindly asked that person to put down the crack pipe and get back to work :)
You will also note, at right, my intention to add structure to my celebration of randomness, "The Lineup". There's no irony in that, is there? hee.hee. Seriously, going to give it a whirl, I think it will make my creative juices (that I'm not sure I posess) flow a bit better. So, that being said, onto the Tuesday Teaser.....
No sleep for the weary. My eyes popped open at 1:43am (it was probably 1:41, as I had to get up and pee before I looked at the clock). Have no idea what's going on, but my mind has been on overload for the last twelve hours. It was racing when I went to sleep, and racing when I woke up. No semblance of thought, random sh*t flying all over the place. Made me think of the photo I downloaded earlier (long story), and that maybe this needs to be my icon -
Did someone spike my punch, or what? Anyway, two cups of hot chocolate later, and for lack of a better plan, here I sit. 4:51am now, no point in going back to sleep as I have to start organizing the troops in an hour.Just added a bunch of silliness to the blog (see column of life-enhancing accoutrements at right). These include, and will not be limited to,
(1) a link to my unhealthy obsession, the new love in my love, comic genius Ricky Gervais. Don't worry, have informed the hubby, and it's all good. I know, I'm about eight years behind the rest of the world, but in my defense, the guy is prolific, so it's not like I've fallen for a has-been. Anyway, will get back to all this at some point in more detail, as the G-vase will require multiple posts down the road.
(2) Tunage- would love to have feedback on the Mixpod (music player) - Is it annoying? I can't figure out how to turn the bloody thing off, so that you can just listen if you want to. Need to figure that out. Anyway, if you don't like it, you can just hit pause.
(3) The other over-the-top addition of the day?? - PONG!!! Love it. If anyone is wondering, the world is indeed bonkers. Had someone told me ten years ago that I'd be spending hours, typing away to virtually nobody in cyberspace, killing those extra minutes with a game or two of pong on my blog, I would've kindly asked that person to put down the crack pipe and get back to work :)
You will also note, at right, my intention to add structure to my celebration of randomness, "The Lineup". There's no irony in that, is there? hee.hee. Seriously, going to give it a whirl, I think it will make my creative juices (that I'm not sure I posess) flow a bit better. So, that being said, onto the Tuesday Teaser.....
Monday, February 08, 2010
Onion Ring More Popular Than Justin Bieber in Latest Facebook Meme
Original story: http://mashable.com/2010/02/08/onion-ring-facebook-meme-beats-justin-bieber/
Another doozie of a breakthrough in cyber-sociology has popped up all over my household in the last three days, thus my need to address this freakish Facebook phenomenon. I say it at least 72 times a day...wifhigo..what in the friggin' hell is goin' on? Obviously, the only reason this is even on my radar screen is that I have two of the demographics who happen to be tuning in for this madness sitting on my sofa at the moment. Keira, who is six, has put Justin Bieber in the 'ring' (hee.hee) with the JoBros - as in Celebrity Death Match - the winner gets her heart for at least the next 79 hours. Turns out Justin is actually winning. Wouldn't have paid much attention to her new fling, but the other two rocket scientists have been anxiously watching on Facebook since Feb. 1st as Justin's fanbase was pummeled (numberwise) by a member of the fried food group - the onion ring. I have been getting daily updates from all, so just wanted to make sure my own fanbase (all two of you) is also tuned in. In more exciting news, said onion ring has already taken on the JoBros and Miley, and is now targeting Britney. This, friends, is newsworthy here at Chez McGann. Speaks volumes? :)
Original story: http://mashable.com/2010/02/08/onion-ring-facebook-meme-beats-justin-bieber/
Another doozie of a breakthrough in cyber-sociology has popped up all over my household in the last three days, thus my need to address this freakish Facebook phenomenon. I say it at least 72 times a day...wifhigo..what in the friggin' hell is goin' on? Obviously, the only reason this is even on my radar screen is that I have two of the demographics who happen to be tuning in for this madness sitting on my sofa at the moment. Keira, who is six, has put Justin Bieber in the 'ring' (hee.hee) with the JoBros - as in Celebrity Death Match - the winner gets her heart for at least the next 79 hours. Turns out Justin is actually winning. Wouldn't have paid much attention to her new fling, but the other two rocket scientists have been anxiously watching on Facebook since Feb. 1st as Justin's fanbase was pummeled (numberwise) by a member of the fried food group - the onion ring. I have been getting daily updates from all, so just wanted to make sure my own fanbase (all two of you) is also tuned in. In more exciting news, said onion ring has already taken on the JoBros and Miley, and is now targeting Britney. This, friends, is newsworthy here at Chez McGann. Speaks volumes? :)
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