Monday's Mayhem - You can buy weed on Amazon.com

Happy Monday. How was the weekend? Ours was busy and crazy, as usual, but fun-n-sun-(n-rum)-filled. I could absolutely do without Mondays, but then Tuesday would be Monday and I'd be in the same boat. I don't even have to get out the door to work, and somehow life still manages to look upside-down every Monday morning.

I have been trolling through my favorite news spots on the web today for something kooky to kick off the week. How about this? K2 Bloom Herbal Incense , which is actually a chemically enhanced (but apparently smokable) pot-like herbal essence, is for sale on Amazon.com. Okay??? Got my attention.

I dearly dig The Daily Beast for their hip-to-the-scene take on everything from politics to trending topics to the exploration of the culinary universe to...well, just about everything. Anyway, found this article by one of their contributing bloggers: http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2010-03-27/how-to-buy-pot-on-amazon/?cid=bsa:mostpopular2. I'm actually old enough to be his mother. This might just be more disturbing than the fact that a kid who could be my son is blogging about the emerging internet market for mind-altering substances.

Here's the scientific take on this most unnatural herbal nightmare -

"The science of JWH-018, the synthetic chemical sprayed onto most of these “herbal blends,” has been around for about 15 years. First synthesized by Clemson University chemist and professor John W. Huffman (hence the “JWH”), the chemical was created to see if the therapeutic effects of THC, the active ingredient in marijuana, could be mimicked. Eventually, the recipe was stolen and the substance began turning up in incense that supposedly produced a calming effect in those who enjoyed it, mostly in Canada and across Europe. It wasn’t long, of course, before someone decided to smoke it.

The science behind the psychotropic effects of the JWH-018 compound is not yet complete. JWH-018 appears to excite the same CB1 and CB2 receptors that THC does. Unlike natural weed, however, the synthesized version is four times more potent when binding with CB1, and seems to have a three-fold preference for the CB1 over the CB2 receptor. This is relevant because it is the CB2 receptor that gives marijuana its medical properties—it affects pain and inflammation levels in the body. It thus appears as though K2 may provide a potent high, it lacks the medicinal properties that helped legitimize the pot-legalization movement."

So, where do I start with this one? First of all, who in the hell out there hears about something 'herbal' that's sprayed with synthetic chemicals and thinks it might be something fun to smoke? I know, we'll save the crackhead discussion for another day. But if you want something synthetic, why not just head straight for crystal meth? And even if you get beyond the idea that you'd be smoking synthetic chemicals, does JWH-018 really sound like a good time to anyone? Hmmmm....trying to picture all those crazy stoners I went to high school with..."Duuude, stop by after school, I got some of that JWH-018 stuff". What in the world?

I'm not going to chime in here with my support for legalizing marijuana, although I'm not against it, but it seems to me that one of the beautiful things about marijuana is that it's 100% natural, exactly the way nature intended it, and exactly the way it was found in nature thousands of years ago. Am I terrified that I have one teenager and another one just around the corner, both of whom are going to have to be educated about this crap? You better believe it.

Lets just talk for a minute about the reported side effects of JWH-018. Hallucinations, severe agitation, elevated heart rate and blood pressure, vomiting and, in some cases, tremors and seizures. Sounds like a fantastic time to me. U.S. poison centers have reported more than 50 related calls this month. A toxicologist in Missouri reported that he has seen thirty teenagers in six weeks tripping on the drug in the emergency room. Hello kiddies. Probably a good indication that this is not what Cheech and Chong had in mind. And if Cheech and Chong aren't up for it, you might want to rethink it, no?

There's always going to be the next big thing coming down the pike that you want to keep far away from your kids. The fact that you can log onto Amazon.com and buy this stuff is somewhat disconcerting. Missouri has initiated legislation to ban the K2 pseudo-ganja. Let's hope 49 more states follow suit. In the mean time, my advice. If you're gonna smoke it, don't settle for the fake stuff. Will reiterate that this is not an endorsement for marijuana use, just a set of observations.