Monday's Mayhem -
Kerry said, "I'm taking requests...what's that?... you say you want to read about..."

Wendy said..."I'm curious about your kids language issues ;) Have they lost their French or Hungarian? I am truly curious! Fill us in on your thoughts on TCK moving back home and the effects on the 2nd and 3rd languages! Now get to your homework!"

In keeping with Tuesday's topic, public education in the US, I can slide sideways into the mayhem which was our return to the US after twelve years, and the struggle to get the boys acclimated for the first time in (a) public and (b) English-speaking schools. Liam was easier, because he was younger (he was starting in 4th grade). Even so, they both struggled a lot with reading, writing, vocabulary, and the overall (lack of) culture in education here. They both struggled socially, again Riley more than Liam, trying to figure out how they fit in for the first year. Almost two years later, they are all-American kids, with the same thoughts and ideas as the kids down the street who have never lived outside of the country. Almost.

For those of you who aren't familiar, a Third-Culture Kid (TCK) "refers to someone who, as a child, has spent a significant period of time in one or more culture(s) other than his or her own, thus integrating elements of those cultures and their own birth culture, into a third culture". In the case of my kids, they were Americans, living in Hungary, attending a 100% French-speaking school. Talk about confusing them culturally and linguistically. So... how does that impact them down the road? And what are the implications being back in the US (for now)? Will they lose all the great benefits of being a TCK?

What I've noticed is that while the boys have adapted beautifully to their new surroundings, they have a different way of experiencing everything. This could be best described in the context of having a global versus a local point of view. They returned fluent in three languages. They have lost quite a bit of their French, however I'm confident that it's still there, dormant, waiting for the next opportunity to use it. The Hungarian shall remain, hopefully, forever. It was their play language as they grew up. It is part of who they are. Frequent trips back to Budapest and MSN chats with their Hungarian friends will keep it alive, as long as I have anything to say about it. They often dream in Hungarian. I know this because I hear Keira talking in her sleep and using Hungarian words. It's obviously not their mother tongue, but it's stored in their brains as such. French was only their school language, and is not as likely to be as easily accessible down the road.

Language aside, the opportunity of the TCK to benefit from a multi-cultural experience is great. Anyone who has read about or studied TCK's as they become adults and go out into the world can easily identify what sets these kids apart from someone who didn't have similar experiences. Most recognizable is their ability to accept diversity in any situation. The defining traits of a TCK aren't always positive. TCKs develop a sense of belonging everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Their experiences within other cultures makes it difficult for them to have in-depth communication with those who have not experienced similar conditions.

Some Other interesting facts about Third-Culture Kids:

• TCKs are 4 times as likely as non-TCKs to earn a bachelor's degree (81% vs 21%)
• 40% earn an advanced degree (as compared to 5% of the non-TCK population.)
• 45% of TCKs attended 3 universities before earning a degree.
• 44% earned undergraduate degree after the age of 22.
• TCKs are unlikely to work for big business, government, or follow their parents' career choices. "One won't find many TCKs in large corporations. Nor are there many in government ... they have not followed in parental footsteps".
• 90% feel "out of sync" with their peers.
• 90% report feeling as if they understand other cultures/peoples better than the average American.
• 80% believe they can get along with anybody.
• Teenage TCKs are more mature than non-TCKs, but ironically take longer to "grow up" in their 20s.
• Some studies show a desire to "settle down" others a "restlessness to move".

Part of me still hopes that we will be able to get another gig overseas in the next 8-10 years, so that Liam and Keira can have the opportunity to get back to their TCK roots. Who knows, it could happen....shhhh, don't tell the grandparents.