Tuesday's TeaserZ - Hollywood's Gossip GarbageZ
After yesterday's heavy topic (in the words of Cheech), I decided to take it down a few notches and focus on the ridiculousness that is Hollywood this week (any week). Confession time. It's not something I'm proud of, but I'm learning to live with it. I am a People.com junkie. It comes in waves now, it's no longer critical to my existence (there was a time). I realize fully that it's mindless, but so is fishing. Will just add here that People is the reliable source for gossip garbage. You can keep the TMZs and Pop-Eaters of the world.

A date with Kate? What a fate! She's dancefloor bait, and still doesn't rate. Not sure what's more of a tease - Kate's hair, or ABC trying to sell anyone on her dancing ability. While I don't really watch tv, I still get the news from TV-land via People or FB. Everyone is trashing poor Kate this morning, after her stellar performance on Dancing With the Stars last night. Why wouldn't they? She is a narcissistic nightmare, concerned with little more than her already trashed image in the media...okay, to be fair, maybe she worries about her hair too. Why does she keep coming back for more? What are you trying to prove, Lady? Go home and be a mother to those eight beautiful children. I get the whole DWTS thing, it's fun to see celebrities break out on the dance floor and try to impress us. But why Kate? Bleh. Have never seen her reality show, have never seen her dance (with the exception of this clip)...hoping I will never have to suffer through either.


Exactly what is fun about watching this whining biyatch who has no more claim to stardom than you or I do? On an unrelated sidenote, I've had several people tell me that my household/life would make for great reality tv. I'm not sure exactly how to take that, but will assume that because I'm somewhat of a whackjob, people would tune in to watch. How does one go from being in the super-sh*tty-mom limelight to competing on the dance floor with the superstar likes of Pamela Anderson (barf) and Shannon Doherty (double barf).

TUESDAY EVENING UPDATE: She's out. I should hope so. Ciao Bella.

Next up - Vanilla Ice Are you frigging kidding me? Please say it ain't so. I really thought Vanilla Ice was dead. Nope. There he is, poppin' up all over the damn place, all set to perform at the Glastonbury festival in the UK in June. DO WHHHHAT? Headlining the bill - U2 and Muse, a show I missed in Tampa back in October because...well, because I'm too damn cheap *kicks herself, hard*. Did I already ask? DO WHHHAT? Gotta give it to the Iceman, at least he's still out there, doing what he loves. Get your tix soon, they're bound to go fast :)

Jemi in the House -
Alright, had to go here, only because my life IS currently The Disney Channel. Can you believe it? OMG! OMG! OMG! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Demi and Joe are really dating. OMG! OMG! OMG! Can you believe they're calling them Jemi? How cute is that? Triple Barf on my end. Still, being the mother of a giant Demi/Jonas fan (who doesn't read my blog), I'm obligated to pretend and say that I'm really happy for the new couple. Now let's step back and talk about what happened between BFFs Demi and Selena? It's all making sense. Demi's comment a few months back about Selena being buddy-buddy with Taylor Swift, who's heart was ripped out and stomped on by Joe back in the day. Oooh, wonder how those Disney celebs all stand in the same room with one another after everyone has been with everyone. It can't be worse than The Girls Next Door, can it?

Kim is on the Yacht
Can I use quadruple barf here? Would that really mean anything?

A lovely photo uploaded by Ms. Kardashian to her Twitter page. My, Madame, what tantalizing tatas you have. All the better to cheesefest you with. Even if I had that bod and that rack (hee.hee.), I think I would find a better way to make my man (Reggie) regret dumping me. C'mon Chica, have a little self-respect.

Lots more where this came from, I could blog well into the morning and not put a dent in it. Geez, it's enjoyable on occasion to make fun of people. Okay, I'll stop. For now. xo.

Monday's Mayhem - You can buy weed on Amazon.com

Happy Monday. How was the weekend? Ours was busy and crazy, as usual, but fun-n-sun-(n-rum)-filled. I could absolutely do without Mondays, but then Tuesday would be Monday and I'd be in the same boat. I don't even have to get out the door to work, and somehow life still manages to look upside-down every Monday morning.

I have been trolling through my favorite news spots on the web today for something kooky to kick off the week. How about this? K2 Bloom Herbal Incense , which is actually a chemically enhanced (but apparently smokable) pot-like herbal essence, is for sale on Amazon.com. Okay??? Got my attention.

I dearly dig The Daily Beast for their hip-to-the-scene take on everything from politics to trending topics to the exploration of the culinary universe to...well, just about everything. Anyway, found this article by one of their contributing bloggers: http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2010-03-27/how-to-buy-pot-on-amazon/?cid=bsa:mostpopular2. I'm actually old enough to be his mother. This might just be more disturbing than the fact that a kid who could be my son is blogging about the emerging internet market for mind-altering substances.

Here's the scientific take on this most unnatural herbal nightmare -

"The science of JWH-018, the synthetic chemical sprayed onto most of these “herbal blends,” has been around for about 15 years. First synthesized by Clemson University chemist and professor John W. Huffman (hence the “JWH”), the chemical was created to see if the therapeutic effects of THC, the active ingredient in marijuana, could be mimicked. Eventually, the recipe was stolen and the substance began turning up in incense that supposedly produced a calming effect in those who enjoyed it, mostly in Canada and across Europe. It wasn’t long, of course, before someone decided to smoke it.

The science behind the psychotropic effects of the JWH-018 compound is not yet complete. JWH-018 appears to excite the same CB1 and CB2 receptors that THC does. Unlike natural weed, however, the synthesized version is four times more potent when binding with CB1, and seems to have a three-fold preference for the CB1 over the CB2 receptor. This is relevant because it is the CB2 receptor that gives marijuana its medical properties—it affects pain and inflammation levels in the body. It thus appears as though K2 may provide a potent high, it lacks the medicinal properties that helped legitimize the pot-legalization movement."

So, where do I start with this one? First of all, who in the hell out there hears about something 'herbal' that's sprayed with synthetic chemicals and thinks it might be something fun to smoke? I know, we'll save the crackhead discussion for another day. But if you want something synthetic, why not just head straight for crystal meth? And even if you get beyond the idea that you'd be smoking synthetic chemicals, does JWH-018 really sound like a good time to anyone? Hmmmm....trying to picture all those crazy stoners I went to high school with..."Duuude, stop by after school, I got some of that JWH-018 stuff". What in the world?

I'm not going to chime in here with my support for legalizing marijuana, although I'm not against it, but it seems to me that one of the beautiful things about marijuana is that it's 100% natural, exactly the way nature intended it, and exactly the way it was found in nature thousands of years ago. Am I terrified that I have one teenager and another one just around the corner, both of whom are going to have to be educated about this crap? You better believe it.

Lets just talk for a minute about the reported side effects of JWH-018. Hallucinations, severe agitation, elevated heart rate and blood pressure, vomiting and, in some cases, tremors and seizures. Sounds like a fantastic time to me. U.S. poison centers have reported more than 50 related calls this month. A toxicologist in Missouri reported that he has seen thirty teenagers in six weeks tripping on the drug in the emergency room. Hello kiddies. Probably a good indication that this is not what Cheech and Chong had in mind. And if Cheech and Chong aren't up for it, you might want to rethink it, no?

There's always going to be the next big thing coming down the pike that you want to keep far away from your kids. The fact that you can log onto Amazon.com and buy this stuff is somewhat disconcerting. Missouri has initiated legislation to ban the K2 pseudo-ganja. Let's hope 49 more states follow suit. In the mean time, my advice. If you're gonna smoke it, don't settle for the fake stuff. Will reiterate that this is not an endorsement for marijuana use, just a set of observations.

Sunday's Sofa-Surfin' Sidenote - Here Comes Lemmy

Even if you don't have a great appreciation for heavy metal, you have to respect the legend that is Lemmy. Even if you don't have a soft spot for rock legends, you still have no choice but to love the Lemmy. Motörhead is a British rock band formed in 1975 by bassist, singer and songwriter Ian Fraser Kilmister, known mostly by his stage name Lemmy, who has remained the sole constant member of the group. I've been a fan of Motörhead for about ten years. I didn't grow up with them, but had a friend in Budapest who suggested I give them a listen. Years later in 2006, I had the privilege of seeing Lemmy and Co. in concert at the Novarock Music Festival just outside Vienna. btw, if you're in the neighborhood, the lineup for 2010 is pretty kick*ss: http://www.novarock.at/jart/prj3/novarock/main.jart?rel=en&reserve-mode=active). It's a 3-day festival, and camping is a must. I've been in love with him/them ever since. It's the perfect blow-off-steam music -windows down, and the stereo cranked up. You may get a few unappreciative looks from the old farts next to you at the traffic light, but you're gonna have that anyway.

A fantastic documentary, Lemmy, directed by Greg Olliver and Wes Orshoski, premiered at the South by Southwest film festival two weeks ago. Here's the teaser from the website (http://www.lemmymovie.com/)


How great is Dave Grohl, chiming in with his two cents on what constitutes a real rock legend? And he is, in my humble opinion, absolutely spot-on. Lemmy is everything that real rock-n-roll should be. All of the noise, none of the glamour. I can't wait to see the movie. Gonna have to wait awhile though, they are planning to show the film all over the festival circuit, with a release on DVD later in the year.

Here's another YouTube clip, probably not one of my favorites but definitely one of their bigger hits in the early 80's, the Ace of Spades.


Lemmy is a character worth documenting. He is 64 and still rockin'. He lives in LA in a small $900/month apartment turned Motörhead museum, but if he's not on tour or sleeping, he can be found hanging out at the Rainbow Bar and Grill on the Sunset Strip, drinking Jack and Cokes and writing music in the corner. He has done it all, seen it all, and tried it all. He is a classic, in every sense of the word. If you get a chance to see him live, you need to make it happen. Long live the Lemster.

Song of the day kids, and it's all kinds of saucy. Love Corrine Bailey Rae. Girlfriend put another record on. Have listened to most of the tracks on her new album, The Sea (http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/the-sea/id348834350). Not surprising, it's alot of mellow yellow, but if you're in a chillaxin' state of mind it's PERFECT. Her voice is gorgeous, somehow a bit more feisty on this album.

Great article on NPR.com this week: Corinne Bailey Rae: Sharpening The Edges

Here's The Blackest Lily. Get down with your bad self...

Friday's Franchise - Morons, Morons, Everywhere

First, let it be said that I am in no way, shape, or form attempting to be un-American. The fact is, one of the greatest things about being American is the freedom I have to say, "what a bunch of FRIGGING MORONS we have running around out there!" We've cornered the market on this one, My Lovelies. The epidemic which is the moron is indeed a franchise, not unlike Dunkin' Donuts or Seven Eleven, and it's popping up on every corner in America.

Second, I would like to add that I don't consider myself (for one millisecond) to be a supremely intelligent human being, or for that matter even a well-read, remotely clued-in, contributing member of society. That being said, I'm pretty sure I'm leagues ahead of half the dingbats out there screaming from the top of the mountain about health care reform or foreign trade policy.

Are moron sightings a new thing? Probably not. Does political unrest and economic downturn allow the otherwise somewhat tucked away morons a platform to speak unintelligently to whatever it is that puts a fire under their asses? Safe to say. Where am I headed with this? Not sure. What spawned my need to blog about this today? Well, aside from a MILLION things rolling around in my head at any given moment, or my husband sitting next to me spouting the doom and gloom that is the future of America, gonna have to say it was this:

Thank you Kim, for sharing this unbelievably funny photo, and for turning me on to a fantastic blog called Morons With Signs (http://moronswithsigns.blogspot.com/). This is, succinctly, the best way I can explain what I mean by morons, morons, everywhere. Hilarious.

"Dissent is the highest form of patriotism" - I can't actually give anyone credit for this quote because there is great debate about who actually said it first (i.e. the first person who said it and mattered). Jefferson is given lots of credit, but nobody has really come up evidence to that effect. Pressing on...according to the Morons With Signs blog, this is fundamentally true, the right to freedom of speech being integral to that dissent. They go on to point out, however, that we can still "savor" the right to mock the morons. Yay!!! And I say unto you, savor away!

On that note, I'm off for a family outing to IKEA. Love the Swedish meatballs :) Will be back a bit later to wrap this one up (and catch up with yesterday's post as well). xo.

Thursday's Thirst Quencher - Jónsi

In the course of trying to get back to regular blogging, a mission somewhat impossible in faithful submission, I've noticed that I tend to lean towards music when I'm coming up with Thursday's quencher and Saturday's saucy. Actually, I tend to lean towards music period, and in some ways always have. It's how I escape. As I type this, I'm listening to my iPod, rather than Snoring Sam in bed next to me. Case and point. hee.hee. Seriously, whether it's old showtunes, 80's fluff, heavy metal, nawlins' jazz, or just plain, old top-of-the-charts stuff, music lets me just be. It's my happy place, my sad place, my pondering place. I love it.

A friend recently turned me on to an Icelandic band called Sigur Rós.

They have been a part of the international music scene for more than a decade, but are totally new to me. It took about ten times listening to this song, being intrigued more than anything by the strange sounds and the lead singer's falsetto voice, and I was hooked. You may have seen this video on one of my posted playlists or the music player here. The embed function for the video is disabled on YouTube, but here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EyI4p0yjDQ

It's such a beautiful song. Of course, it's sung in Icelandic, so having a translation for the song makes me love it more. That said, I would enjoy it even if I didn't know what the lyrics were about. The band announced in January that they will be on hiatus indefinitely, while the members of the band pursue solo careers and spend time with their families.

Which brings us to Jón Þór (Jónsi) Birgisson, the band's vocalist and guitarist. Jonsi's first solo album will be released on April 6th. I just happened to stumble upon his session as the guest DJ on NPR's All Songs Considered today, where he shares a playlist that contributed to his own style, which is incredibly unique. http://www.npr.org/templates/player/mediaPlayer.html?action=1&t=1&islist=false&id=125304475&m=125302629. Very cool to hear him interviewed.

This is the first single from the new album: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6HjT4SQKJI. FANTASTIC!!! Check it out. You have to watch it in fullscreen mode to get the effect of the video. He is such a talented artist, including his presentation. The visual enhances the experience so much. Enjoy!

Hey Kiddies. Happy Hump Day! Time for Wednesday's Wacky/Wacko...and boy, did I stumble upon the über-wacky of the decade.
This is a fairly old story, chances are you've heard about it. I hadn't, so thought I would share. It is Talhotblond, a documentary about a toxic internet love triangle gone wrong. It was released on DVD yesterday, so it's in the headlines again today. I just stumbled upon it and was sick-to-my-stomach speechless.

Here's the review I found on IMDb:

Anybody who loves lurid, real-life homicide cases with mind boggling revelations will crave this skillfully made documentary about a cyberspace femme fatale who turned two grown men against one another. These two guys participated in Internet chat room sessions with an 18-year old hottie. Forty-seven year old factory worker Thomas Montgomery, currently serving a 20-year stretch in Attica Correctional Facility in New York, was an unhappily married man with two daughters aged 12 and 14-years old. Montgomery was suffering from impotence when he met Jessi in an Internet chat room purely by accident. Montgomery masqueraded as an 18-year old battle scarred Marine sniper named Tommy when he learned that Jessi was a West Virginia high school senior. He fooled the poor teenager into believing that he had deep feelings of love for her.

Jessi reciprocated similar feelings of affection. The web-based romance began in May 2005. Jessi sent him photos of herself in a bathing suit, videos of herself set to a ballad, red-lace panties, and a sterling silver "key to my heart" chain. Their chat sessions degenerated into pornographic prattle. Meanwhile, Montgomery's suspicious wife Cindy discovered her husband's perfidy and contacted Jessi with the truth about Montgomery. Before long Jessi hooked up with a college student named Brian.

Eventually, this twisted relationship incorporated all three and Montgomery learned that Brian worked part-time at the same factory, the tool plant, Dynabrade in Clarence, New York, where he had been working for 12 years. One evening while 22-year old Brian sat in his truck in the factory parking lot, Montgomery approached the vehicle without warning and fired three shots from a .30-caliber gun into the driver's side door, killing Brian. The jealous older man was stunned when he learned the truth about sexy young Jessi and how she had lead him on in a bizarre love triangle.

This is a chilling cautionary tale of what can occur when you chat with the wrong folks in cyberspace. First-time writer & director Barbara Schroeder does a splendid job of assembling the facts in a piecemeal fashion with the actual participants, including candid, on-camera interviews with convicted killer Thomas Montgomery, clinical psychologist and attorney Dr. Rex Julian Beaber, Erie County prosecutor Ken Case, Erie County Sheriff Ron Kenyon, Oak Hill, West Virginia Sgt. Lee Kirk, Tim Shieler, and the father of the Internet teen vixen. The revelations here will curl your toe-nails and make you think twice about entering an Internet chat room. Indeed, truth is again stranger than fiction! "Talhotblond" received the Best Documentary award at the 2009 Seattle International Film Festival. Incidentally, the title refers to the screen name that Jessi used in Internet chat rooms.

***Spoiler Alert*** Don't read further if you think you may actually watch this terrifying, it-really-happened film.

Imagine, that when police showed up at Jessi's house to investigate following Brian's murder, they discovered that 'Jessi' was in fact the real-life Jessi's 46-yr-old mom, who had used photos/videos of her own daughter to lure Tommy the stud-muffin, who was actually a fat and forty-six Montgomery, into her cyber-arms. Bleh!!! It's so not my cup'o'tea, this sordid stuff, but it's so disturbing, I think I might just have to watch it.

What in the world is going on out there? Safe to say, if we are hearing about this crazy story that ended so tragically, how many 'ordinary' people are involved in the same scenerio of kooky internet relationships built on lie upon twisted lie that we never hear about? Freakish doesn't even begin to describe it. Pathetic, maybe? How do human beings get to such a point of desperation? What in God's name could possibly make you fantasize about being someone else to the point that you create a fictional internet 'you'? I know, it happens all the time, in most cases where the fictional character is a predator, but these two nutjobs were actually carrying on a relationship. Did I mention...BLEH!!! Get some help already.

If nothing else, word to you(r) mother(s), don't let your teenagers get ANYWHERE near chat rooms, even on fricking Club Penguin. Contributor Larry Getlen blogged about Talhotblond on The Daily Beast yesterday. Here's the link: http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2010-03-23/webs-killer-love-triangle/.

That, folks is a whole lotta WACKO. Bleh!!!

Biden Drops The F-Bomb?

Please, don't anybody get up in my space about my love of and frequent use of the f-bomb. It's everything a girl could want in a word - it's a noun, it's a verb, it's an adjective, it's an adverb. It's explanatory, it's accusatory, it's...f-ing fabulous. Now go People! Live happily amongst your neighbors and use it freely.

Example: "Are your gonna cut your f-ing grass any time soon, Bob, it's getting pretty out of control?"

Tuesday's Teaser - Sorry guys, this one is for the ladies.

Chris Evans just signed on to play Captain America in the movie slated to be out next summer. Can I just say, although not a fan AT ALL of comic book heroes turned movie franchise, I will be taking the boys to see this one. Ummmmmm....Yum. I know, he's a child (29). Whatever. So am I, mentally :)

I don't remember him looking quite this hot in The Fantastic Four (Johnny Storm). Wasn't he kinda scrawny? Anyway, will have to dig that one out and watch it again.


Bring on The First Avenger.
xo.

Nate Beeler, The Washington Examiner

Monday's Mayhem - What else could it be today? The Affordable Care and Patient Protection Act has passed. Let the mayhem begin.

As usual, I will not pretend like I could hold my own in a debate on this topic. I read. I listen. I have not spent hours dissecting the contents of the bill. I am, however, clued in enough to believe that while it may be a giant win for the Democrats, it is most likely not going to be such a big win for the average American. Regardless of your opinion on the topic, The Affordable Care and Patient Protection Act (ACPPA) is now law. And whatever your viewpoint, you can't dispute the fact that getting this far has been a major legislative victory. That being said, there are still all kinds of hurdles the Democrats will have to survive, and there will continue to be battles on many fronts.

What I didn't realize, is that House Democrats simultaneously passed a second bill that amended the main bill. Please, could you guys make it a bit more confusing for those of us without a clue in this department. I know, I should read more. Anyway, the second bill, don't know if it has a name, shall serve to placate the Democrats who reluctantly voted for the ACPPA, on the grounds that certain provisions would be amended in the 'reconciliation' process. Whatever that means, Senate Republicans are already busy pointing out that because the second bill intends to increase Social Security revenue, which is prohibited under reconciliation rules. i.e. The Senate will most likely change the second bill, requiring it to go back to The House for another vote, and it may not pass a second time. Can you say HOT MESS? I know, this is the way our arcane political system keeps on truckin', but where does it get us?

In addition, attorneys general in thirteen states (I'm guessing this number has increased since this morning) have filed suit against the federal government, claiming that the ACCPA is unconstitutional, and that forcing Americans to obtain healthcare is a violation of their rights. One might safely assume that they might just be right. It's unheard of - the federal government dictating that by definition of being a US citizen, you have to purchase a certain product, insurance or otherwise.

And finally, back to the GOP leaders. They have promised that they will make repealing the ACCPA their mission when it comes to campaigning in the fall. Based on how unpopular the bill is, Republicans are going to benefit in the electoral vote department. Will they succeed in getting the bill repealed? Probably not. Will mayhem ensue? Most definitely. Will our fearless political commentators on the Republican side of the fence have a field day with this mayhem. You bet your sweet potatoes they will. Politics, shmolitics...it's gonna be a long couple of years (decades?).

Chat Roulette Piano - Ode to Merton

Ben Folds is the man. Love this set-up. He's playing live in front of an audience in Charlotte, NC., while chatting with whoever randomly pops up (guessing it's not random, but it's really funny). Doooood...why would you want to be sitting on the toilet when Ben pops up to play for you? Qualls, you would totally do that, wouldn't you.

Sunday's Sofa-Surfin' Sidenote - Gloomy, Indeed

Continuing my exploration of Sunday (see March 14th), I popped in early this morning to see what my Facebook friends were up to. Overall, and it could just be part of that ego-talking thing whereby they want you to think their lives are grand, everyone is pleased as punch that it's Sunday. Hmmmm....

Outside of getting to sleep until nine, I don't have the same feeling. For me, Sunday means almost-Monday, lots to do, and that guilty I-should-be-doing-something feeling if I'm not. Seriously. Gloomy is the word. I should add here, that I don't dislike Sunday when I wake up. Quite the opposite. A whole day of rest, stretched out in front of me, just waiting to be filled with.... It's more like 2:00pm, when I realize the day is flying by, that I start to dislike the what's-coming-next.

And now, I shall digress. I recently watched an incredible movie, appropriately called Gloomy Sunday. The movie is a tragic love story, set in Budapest during WWII, during the rise in power of the Third Reich. Though it takes place in Budapest, the movie is in German, with subtitles. The song Gloomy Sunday has an amazing story of it's own. Will get to that in a minute, but here's a clip from the movie. The movie is well worth watching, and I'm not a big fan of the sad, the sappy, or the tragic. Quite content here in the bubble I live in. Don't even attempt to get me to watch something like Schindler's List - not gonna happen.

Note: spoiler at the end - if you're going to watch the movie someday, stop at the 2:oo mark :)


Here is the original version of "Szomorú Vasárnap" (Gloomy Sunday), composed by Rezső Seress in 1933.

More incredible than the movie, is the fact that this song has been recorded by more than eighty artists between 1935 and 2009, including Billie Holiday, Sarah McLachlan, and Bjork. Bonkers. Goes without saying that I'm easily fascinated, but this song fascinates me. Might even go as far as to say, imádom...gyönyörű (I love it, it's gorgeous). I am utterly perplexed as to how I could have lived in Budapest for over eleven years without ever hearing about the song, or for that matter the movie when it was released in 2006. How is that possible?

There's a bit of folklore to go with the song. According to legend, and I haven't really been able to establish this as true or false (my guess is that it's a bit of both), there are more than a hundred suicide cases in Hungary linked to this song, being played whilst a life is ended, on a Sunday. Never substantiated, but makes for great story-telling. In Hungary, it's actually called 'the suicide song'.

Here's a funny clip - Note: if you are suicidal, don't watch :)



Do you suppose that's enough pondering of the depressing and dreary for one day? Geez, Kerry...way to help everyone enjoy their weekend. Sorry, I just think it's interesting, and somewhat poignant since we're talking about the pros and cons of Sunday.

On that note, back to reality. Need to get my Sunday moving, and should probably at least feed my children breakfast. It's gray and poopy in Tampa today, thundering, about to rain cats and dogs. I may just forego the housecleaning for yet another day and watch Gloomy Sunday again :) In my quest to further examine this topic, would very much appreciate your comments. Sunday - Do you love it or hate it? What makes it better or worse?

Saturday's Saucy Solution is..... the beautiful glass of Pinot Noir sitting next to me (and the beautiful bottle of Pinot Noir just to the right of that). It IS Saturday, People! And I'm sitting here all by myself, listening to my iPod and blogging away, in an EMPTY house. Heaven. Yes, you read that right. Bill took seven little monkeys (our three + four neighbors) to the Lightning vs. Capitals hockey game. He, on the other hand, is most certainly in Hell at the moment. Nevermind his general lack of interest in sports, keeping track of that motley crew is enough to send even the most patient kindergarten teacher over the edge.

So... still trying to come up with my topic today. If I hadn't already made her the subject of a previous post, would have to call upon the Gaga. Who has seen the new Telephone video featuring Beyoncé? OUCH, that's hot. I love them both, definitely a bigger fan of Gaga, but what an incredible collaboration. Started watching the video on YouTube the other day and had to turn it off because Keira came into the room. I haven't seen the edited MTV version yet, but this one is supposedly the 'Official Clean Version'. Seriously? What could the 'dirty' version possibly look like? Either way, it's definitely not for the kiddies. Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/user/kmcgann?feature=mhw4#p/f/0/EVBsypHzF3U (sorry, no idea why my links aren't working, you'll need to copy and paste).

Okay, found my sah-see for the day. I love that I get to pick it, and nobody else gets a vote.

And here she is...
Dame Edna, who you either love or love to hate, is starring in a new show on Broadway with Michael Feinstein called All About Me. The plot is simple, probably been done, but clever. The two are performers, accidentally booked for a show on the same night, so decide to make the best of it and combine efforts. Looks hilarious.

There are two videos you need to watch, one of Dame Edna flinging herself onto Mr. Feinstein's Steinway, and the other where she does Beyoncé's Single Ladies. Both are equally entertaining.

Link to the videos in an NPR article:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=124831076

I love all things drag, in any venue, and would truly love to see this show. Feinstein, a fairly reserved, but incredibly accomplished singer/pianist (who hails, btw, from my hometown of Columbus, Ohio), is the perfect accoutrement for one kooky-ass Dame Edna. All About Me opens tonight and runs through July 18th. If you're there, go and see it.

Link to more information:
http://www.henrymillerstheatre.com/?gclid=CJGVz9XSyKACFYha2godWFnJZg
(why aren't my damn links working?)

Couldn't leave you without the lyrics to part of The Dingo Ate My Baby. If you aren't familiar, this is a classic Australian silly saying, along the lines of ..."gotta throw some more shrimp on the barbie..."

The dingo ate my baby
It wasn't a horrible hoax
I don't care what they say
At the ASPCA
I hope that nasty dingo chokes
So if you are nursing a baby
Remember the peril is real
What looks to you and your hubby
Like a toddler so pink and so chubby
Is a dingo's favorite meal!

Also found a funny bit on YouTube...

Friday's Franchise - Sorry kids, it's gotta be....little league baseball Shout it out, Baby!!! Liam's baseball pants. They look like this after every practice and every game :)

I know this isn't up there on the top ten list of trending Yahoo topics, but have seen lots of posts from friends in the last couple of weeks on Facebook about how Florida baseball is killing their weekends, so I thought I would chime in with my two cents. Okay, it's more likely to be twenty-two cents by the time I'm done.

Will begin by saying that, so I'm told, baseball in the southern states is a bit more insane than it is up north. I've never experienced the alternative, but will assume that this is the case. Our Cubs franchise, part of the Lutz Little League lunacy, is going like gangbusters. They beat the undefeated Reds today, and are now 6-2. Good stuff. Liam is enjoying it. Me....well, loving it would be an exaggeration. I am happy to keep the meter running in my taxi. I am happy to sit through the practices and games and cheer them on. Still, I can't help but feel the stress that has become "recreational" sports in the US. What happened to kids just going out and having fun? I have been listening to the other moms in the bleachers talking about whether or not a hit will be counted as a base hit or an error, and how that will affect their kids' standing in the stats and their batting average. What in the world? They are ELEVEN!!! This is not a traveling competitive team, it's your basic little league set-up.

I get it, parents living vicariously through their little baseball players, but it seems like people are taking it to the extreme. Again, not a new concept, and maybe it's just part of the reverse culture shock that I'm still feeling on a regular basis after being back on US soil for almost two years. I am my kids' biggest supporter. It's actually my job and for the most part I love it. But there's a big difference for me between finding extracurricular activities that will keep them out of trouble and give them a regular dose of fitness and what I'm currently experiencing.

In Florida, 'Fall Ball' is the instructional season, not quite as intense, and meant to develop the players for the Spring season. To be fair, I was warned about 'Spring Ball', but Liam wanted desperately to play. If I may say so (and yes, I may), he's a damn good ball player, considering that this is his second season, EVER. I want him to have fun, I just don't agree with how stressful it is for these little guys. I can see it in their faces, I can feel the tension in the air between father and son when son strikes out or misses a catch. Why does it have to be like that?

I've noticed in the last several weeks that Liam is 'acting out' a bit, and can't help but think that it's because of what's happening on the field. He is the new kid on the block, and therefore sits the bench most of the game. He's lucky if he gets two innings in the outfield. I'm not asking that he start at first base, but wouldn't it make sense to give those three not-so-great players a bit more playing time and thereby give them a chance to improve and contribute. I know, I sound like the typical 'soccer mom'..."My kid needs more playing time...wahhhh". That is not my intention. I had a long talk with the coach yesterday to try and understand what's going on. He's a fantastic guy, and not the one driving the stress these guys are feeling. It's very simply the parents.

Most of the kids on the team actually have a batting coach, to the tune of $25-30 an hour, outside of normal practices. I asked the coach if I should consider this for Liam and in an indirect way (i.e. highly suggestive), he said this would be a great idea. I just shelled out $400 for baseball camp (plus food/lodging) over his Spring Break, and now I need to come up with another $300 for a batting coach through the season. ARE YOU FRIGGING kidding me??? Can't help but think that it's one more instance of Americans taking it too far. If we were talking about a traveling team, or even a high school team, I might have a different opinion. Instead, I am disillusioned with what should be an opportunity for these guys to get out there and have a blast. Isn't that the point? What could be more American? Apple pie, maybe?

Here we go, Folks... Have lots to answer for in my almost-three-week absence, and have decided that I will now crank out the posts, one for each day from today, March 18th, all the way back to February 28th. That's EIGHTEEN posts, peeps. Geez, gonna need someone to feed the kids. Bear with me, as I'm more about the quality then the quantity, so an exercise in the prolific is something new. Promise to be all caught up by Monday. Bloggingly yours. xo.

One day post-St.Patrick. In light of Thirst-Quenching Thursday, decided I will re-cap Wednesday. For anyone who knows me, you will not be surprised to discover that yesterday was a day for quenching. No dancing around the subject - I heart beer. Seems a bit strange, just putting that out there. I've come across lots of people of late, moms mostly, who are continually trying to downplay anything alcohol-related. "I'm not a lush or anything"..."I don't really drink very much"..."on the rare occasion that I drink"... I know, I should be a bit more transparent in this department. Again, if you know me, it's safe to assume that's not going to happen. I am not a lush. Still, I heart beer.

Nearly 3:30PM and I'm still tryin' to get back in the saddle today. Started out at Beef O'Brady's yesterday with Mom at noon, and had a few Killian's (So as not to implicate, should add that she was drinking iced tea).
It's not as bad as it looks, I was actually toasting some incredible people, which means it was more ceremonial than consumial. Okay, it was equally ceremonial and consumial (realize that's not actually a word).

Found a coupla cuties at the bar, celebrating away...

The obligatory green beer, found only in America. Really don't understand this one. I did not, nor do I have plans to EVER participate in this tradition. Did I mention??...I heart beer. Why in God's name would I ever go and make it green?
While at Beef's, also ran into a guy called Stu in the smoking/leper section (as in disease-ridden, not to be confused with leprechaun). Poor Stu is living within the confines of his Irish-based identity, and there's not a whole lot more to him. He took the opportunity to point out a couple of things that I knew, but sorta lost along the way:
1. Back in the day, Irish immigrants were segregated, and forced in some instances to share public restrooms with African-Americans. Not trying to be insensitive, but can I still use the word 'blacks' if I'm referring to 'back in the day'? I hate PC, but at the same time don't want to be flippantly un-PC.
2. JFK was the first and the only Catholic president.
3. St. Patrick was not born in Ireland, he was born in England

See......getting educated while drinking beer. The two go hand-in-hand. After all, where do/did the world's most famous philosophers, writers, and artists congregate? Always, in a bar.

While I was at it, found some more useless facts about Irish people:
1. 76% of all Irish nine-year-olds have tried alcohol and cigarettes - could this really be true?
2. The Irish drink four million pints of tea a day - bleh. have never acquired a taste for tea.
3. Dublin boasts one pub for every 100 head of population - this is absolutely true.
4. Divorce was only made legal in Ireland in 1992 - that's just plain bonkers.
5. 70% of married Irish women would consider having an affair while on a foreign holiday without their spouse or children - good thing divorce is now legal.

I know, enough already...

Continuing on with my day...post-Killian's, I went out last night with some friends to the newly opened House of Brews down the road. Freaking Fantastic! 23 beers on tap. If you're local, and you love beer, check it out...http://www.houseofbrewstampa.com/. I settled on Smithwick's, a good old-fashioned Irish ale, now owned and produced by the Corporate machine that is Diageo. Smithwick's was first brewed in 1710 - can you imagine? Yummy stuff.

I knew Diageo was huge, but didn't realize how huge. They are the holding company for some of the most recognizable alcohol brands in the world, including:
* Beer: Guinness, Tusker, Smithwick's, Red Stripe, Harp Lager, Kilkenny
* Scotch whisky: Johnnie Walker, Buchanan's, Cardhu, Justerini & Brooks (J&B), Bell's, Black & White, Caol Ila, Vat 69, Oban, Talisker, Lagavulin, Glen Ord, Glenkinchie, Dalwhinnie, Cragganmore, Singleton, Haig, Royal Lochnagar, Glen Elgin, Knockando
* Vodka: Smirnoff (Smirnov in Russia), Cîroc, Silent Sam, Popov, Ketel One
* Gin: Gordon's, Tanqueray, Gilbey's, Booth's
* Rum: Captain Morgan, Bundaberg, Pampero, Myers'
* Canadian whisky: Crown Royal, Seagram's, Black Velvet
* Schnapps: Black Haus, Goldschläger, Rumple Minze
* Mixed drinks: Archers, Pimm's, TGI Friday's
* Liqueur: Baileys, Sheridans, Yukon Jack, Godiva's

That's an impressive list, no? (pinched that from Wiki, by the way)

Diageo also distributes my beloved Unicum in North America. Unicum, for those of you who may be unfamiliar, is in my humble opinion one of the top three Hungarian contributions to humanity. This is, of course, after the Rubik's Cube and the ballpoint pen. Unicum is an herbal digestif liqueur, made with a secret formula and more than forty herbs. This concoction and fantastic remedy for upset/next-day/hungover stomach (in Hungarian, hungover = masnapos - pronounced m-ah-sh-nah-poh-sh) has somehow escaped the Nobel Prize in Medicine, awarded 100 times since 1901. Unfathomable. For more on Unicum, check out: http://www.zwackunicum.com. I've actually found it at my local liquor store, so you should be able to find a bottle in your neck of the woods no problem. You will thank me.

Okay Kiddies, getting thirsty now. It's 4:20pm and all is well. Gonna grab a beer and head back in time to yesterday's post...

Cheers! Or, in...

Afrikaans : Gesondheid! : (Ge-sund-hide)

Albanian : Gëzuar! : (Géschuar)

Arabic (Egyptian) : في صحتكم! : (Fee-sa-ha-tak)

Armenian : Armenia : (Gen-ots-it)

Azerbaijani : Afiyët oslun! : (Afeeyet Ohs-lun)

Basque : On egin! : (On egín)

Bosnian : Živjeli! : (Zhee-vi-lee)

Bulgarian : Наздраве! : (NAZ-dra-vey)

Chinese (Mandarin) : 乾杯! [干杯!] : (Gan BAY)

Chinese : (Cantonese) : (Gom bui)

Czech : Na zdravi : (NAZ-drah vi)

Croatian : Živjeli! : (ZHEE-vi-lee)

Danish : Skål! : (Skol)

Dutch : Prosit! : (Prowst)

English : Cheers! Bottoms up! Down the hatch! Here’s mud in your eye

Estonian : Terviseks! : (Ter-vi-seks)

Ethiopian (Amharic) : Letenachin : (L’-TAY-nah-chin)

Farsi : (Ba-sal-a-ma-TEE)

Finnish : Kippis! : (KEEP-us)

French : A Votre Sante! : (Ah Vot-ruh Sahn-tay)

Gaelic (Irish) : Sláinte! : (Slawn-che)

German : Prost! : (Prohst)

Greek : στην υγειά σας! : (Stin Eyiassou/Stin Eye-ee-yass-ooh)

Hawaiian : Okole Maluna! : (Å’kålè ma’luna)

Hebrew : לְחַיִּים!/L’Chaim! : (Le Chy-em)

Hungarian : Egészségedre! : (Egg-esh Ay-ged-reh)

Italian : Salute! : Cin cin! (Salu-tay/Chin Chin)

Japanese : /Kampai! : (Kam-pie)

Korean : 위하여 (Chukbae) : (Sheet seki yah)

Latvian : Prieka! : (Pree-eh-ka)

Lithuanian i : sveikata! : (Ee sweh-kata)

Luxembourgish : Prost! : (Prohst)

Maltese : Evviva! : (A-vee-va)

Mongolian : Эрүүл мэндийн төлөө! : (Erüül mehdiin tölöö)

Norwegian : Skål! : (Skoal)

Persian : به سلامتی! : (beh salamati)

Polish Na : zdrowie! : (Naz-droh-vee-ay)

Portuguese : Saúde! : (Sow-ooh-jee)

Romanian : Noroc! : (No-roak)

Russian : Будем здоровы! : (Boo-dem Zdo-ro-vee-eh)

Serbian : Ziveli! : (ZHEE-vi-lee)

Slovak : Na zdravie! : (Naz-drah-vee-ay)

Work is the curse of the drinking class. -Oscar Wilde

Spanish : ¡Salud!/Salut! : (Sah-lud/Sah-lute)

Swedish : Skål! : (Skol)

Thai : ไชโย! : (Chuc-dee)

Turkish : Şerefe! : (Sher-i-feh)

Vietnamese : Chúc sức khoẻ! : (chook-sa-koi-ah)

Yiddish : געזונטערהייט! Zei Gazunt! : (Zye GAH-zoont)

Zulu : Oogy wawa! : (oogee-wawa)

The problem with some people is that when they aren’t drunk they’re sober. -William Butler Yeats

Happy St. Patrick's Day! Wack 'O The Day, To Ya!!!
In news of the wacky/weird, Ping Ping, the world's smallest man, died earlier this week, at the age of 21. He Pingping, of China, who was 2 feet, 5.37 inches (74.6 centimeters) tall, had become a recognized figure across the world, often taking part in shows, photo shoots and other events inspired by people who are different and unusual.


He is the cutest little thing I've ever seen. Here's a very cool YouTube clip. Rest in peace, little Ping Ping.

Tuesday's Teaser (also a bit of a snoozer) - Life and Death, or Death and Life?
The Death and Life of the Great American School System. by Diane Ravitch.I'm always out there, trolling for the next good read. Would venture to say that my picks end up being half fiction, half non-fiction. There is currently a stack about eighteen inches high on my nightstand, but that doesn't mean I can't keep acquiring. It's definitely a documented illness, and it's called Lottabookalitis.

Anyway, this one hit the bookshelves two weeks ago, and I think it deserves mention for several reasons. Having raised our kids overseas until two years ago, the 'overhaul' of public education in the last twenty years has given Bill and I plenty of pause since we've been back. The demise, if you will, of public education is without a doubt on my top five list of biggest concerns in the universe at the moment, far more worrysome than the threat of nuclear war or global warming. The boys just wrapped up the nightmare which is the FCAT (Florida Comprehensive Assessment Test) this week. In my opinion, the FCAT is a waste of time, and serves only those kids who may not survive in the public school system otherwise (i.e. who may slip through the cracks for whatever reason). I would much rather see my kids working on real-life projects, being exposed to think-outside-the-box dilemmas and situations, and memorizing the work of famous American poets. Fat chance.

The author, Diane Ravitch, is a historian of education, an educational policy analyst, and former United States Assistant Secretary of Education. This, her latest book, seeks to examine the current direction of reform within public education. As a parent, as an American, it's another one of those please-don't-make-me-read-it things that I need to read. Is it going to sit at the bottom of my stack? Probably, but it will make 'counting sheep' that much easier, and even if I only plod through one chapter a month, I will have a better understanding of what's happening around me. It's much easier, and much more pleasant, to put your kids on the bus every day and not think about it. I can't do that - I am truly terrified when I think about how my kids are going to compete in the global market after eight (or ten) years of high school and college in the US.

The FCAT was implemented in 1998 and is part of Florida’s overall plan to increase student achievement by raising standards. The FCAT, administered to students in Grades 3-11, consists of criterion-referenced tests measuring selected benchmarks in mathematics, reading, science, and writing. The purpose of the FCAT is to improve teaching standards, to make schools accountable for individual achievements, and to measure annual progress for students, schools, districts, and the state. Sounds fantastic, in theory.

What I have discovered, in talking to educators, administrators, and parents in our school district, is what I can imagine school districts all over the country are experiencing. First and foremost, the overall curriculum is suffering because our teachers are doing nothing more than teaching to these standardized tests. How else are we going to get all these kids through the process with decent scores. Second, and I have heard this straight from the teachers' mouths, the incentive to get those scores and therefore education standards up has absolutely nothing to do with giving our kids a better education. It has everything to do with tying the teacher's performance review, subsequently his/her compensation package, and ultimately job security to these frigging tests. What a way to improve education.

In 2001, the No Child Left Behind Act (NCLB) was passed, requiring states to participate in biennial State NAEP testing in reading and mathematics at Grades 4 and 8. Unlike the FCAT, The primary purpose of the Natl. Association of Educational Progress (NAEP) is to enable states to monitor their progress over time and to compare results of their students with students in other states across the nation. Obviously, there has to be a way to benchmark the performance on a state-by-state basis, but this voluntary testing adds yet another layer to standardized testing, and diverts more of the teachers' time/energy they could be using to actually teach our kids.

We had the boys in a private school for seven years before coming back to the US. Financially, it just doesn't make sense to fork out $12k per year, per child, for three kids, knowing that we have all the college expenses coming down the pike. That being said, I'm not sure that the public high school is going to give them what they need to prepare for college. Guess we shall cross that bridge when we get to it.